iLove Both of Them
by PurpleProbie22
Summary: Freddie finally admitted that he loved Sam. But there was still Carly in Freddie's heart, a girl he had been in love with through the years. Which girl would he choose?
1. Prologue

**Prologue**

_**Hello, whoever you are! Thanks for reading this =) This is my very first fanfic story, and I'm realllllly sorry if there are a LOT of grammatical errors here. Well, since I don't speak english and I am Indonesian (and I live there), I hope you all could understand my bad english, hehe.**_

_**Enjoy reading! :)**_

I can't believe what I saw.

I saw them, my best friend and my new boyfriend, kissing behind my back. Not realizing that I was there, watching them chewing one another's lips.

I didn't know what I felt. I guessed I just couldn't explain the feeling. Well, it hurt so much. I felt so dumb for believing him when he'd said he was over her. He was never over her, not a moment, and this kissing scene explained everything.

How could I believe him? I should have known that no matter what happens, he would always be in love with her. Not me, the blonde-headed demon who loves ham and kicking people's butt. It would always be her, the kind, nice, and sweet brunette who always had everything I didn't have.

As I tried so hard not to make a sound that would interrupt this moment, I walked away, very slowly. And this careless girl—yeah, me—accidentally touched an antique vase on the table beside me. I touched it kinda hard, and it fell down and broke into pieces.

I gasped in horror, realizing that the kissing couple would have heard the sound of the breaking vase beside me. And yeah, they did. They stopped the kiss and they finally realized that I had been standing there, watching them kissing in our studio.

The brunette looked so shocked, knowing that I'd been seeing her smooching my boyfriend. "S-sam?" she whispered.

The boy just stood there. I gave him a "i-need-an-explanation" look, I felt so much pain in my chest. I could barely breathe. And he was still standing there, doing nothing.

I thought it was enough, so I turned back and ran away. But before I reached Shay's Apartment's door, someone grabbed my hand, trying to make me stop.

I hoped it was the boy, but I could only see the brunette girl with a "I'm-really-sorry-I-didn't-mean-to" look on her face.

So I stopped running away and gave her an angry look, "What do you want? Is kissing my boyfriend not enough, C?"

For a moment, I noticed that the boy wasn't here in the living room.

He didn't run to catch me.

He didn't try to stop me.

_Why, Benson? Why can't you love me? Why is it always her?_


	2. Chapter 1: iAm in Love

**(Freddie's Point of View)**

"And we're clear!"

I put down my camera and said, "Nice work, girls."

"I know," said Sam. I rolled my eyes. The three of us left the studio and walked down to the Shay's living room.

"So, you guys wanna come to Groovy Smoothie tonight?" Carly asked.

Sam sat down on the couch and shook her head, "Nah. I have to help my mom."

Carly and I chuckled, "Help? Since when do you help people… especially your mom?" asked Carly.

"Yea… you know, she's been dating that guy… I don't know his name or what he does, but my mom wants me to help her picking a dress to wear on their date tonight. I think that guy is kinda special to her. Thank God, my mom finally took a shower this afternoon."

I just said, "Weird," and I jumped into the couch, right next to her.

Carly looked at me, "Freddie?"

"Well, I'm not really in a mood for smoothies. I've been drinking it too much lately."

She sighed, but she took her jacket and put it on her shoulder. "I guess I'm going to get smoothies _alone_."

"Well, bye!" said Sam. Carly rolled her head and opened the door.

"See ya guys later!"

"Yo," I responded. And then I asked the girl beside me, "Have you seen Spencer? Where's he?"

"I don't know, I'm not his mother," she took of the jacket she was wearing, so now she's only wearing brown tank top.

"Speaking of mother… you said you had to help your mom for a date tonight. When does the date start?" I asked her.

"Yeah, 8 o'clock, why do you care?" she started to lie down her body and put a pillow under her head.

I checked my watch, "It's 20 past 8 already."

"Oh," she didn't seem really care and she tried to sleep.

"You're as weird as your mom," said I.

"Yeah, thanks a lot, Fredalupe."

And an awkwardness filled the empty space of the room. It was so quiet. We didn't say anything, the TV was switched off, and I could only hear the ticking of the clock.

I just sat there, lying my body on the couch, right beside this girl. I kept my eyes wide open, a lot of thoughts came into my mind.

I looked at the girl beside me. With her eyes closed, I thought she was sleeping. She was pretty. So, so pretty. I wondered if her lips still tasted the same. Sweet, magical, enchanting. My—our—first kiss was amazing. Even though I swore I'd never speak of it anymore (well, however I spoke of it when Sam accidentally told Carly about the kiss) I just couldn't get it off of my mind. I spent almost all my days thinking about the kiss, and yeah her lips. I would never forget that awkward night. The best 8 seconds of my life. The first time I ever felt a girl's—note that, a GIRL, not a WOMAN, so my mom didn't count—lips on mine.

We always seemed to hate each other. But I was not sure if that was true. I meant, if I hated her… I wouldn't be thinking about the night I kissed her. I wouldn't be looking at her like this. I wouldn't care about her this way. And I wouldn't be thinking about touching her pale skin that seemed so soft. I could only touch her hands sometimes. Well, very rarely. I really wanna touch her right now.

I was going to touch her golden hair when she…

"What are you doing, Benson," she opened her eyes.

"Uhmm… there was something on your head," I lied. She looked at me suspiciously, but then she closed her eyes.

I stood up and whispered, "Sam, I… wanna… I wanna do my homework. Tell Carly I left."

"Mmmh… 'kay," she responded. Half asleep, I supposed.

I walked to the door, and once again I stared at her. I smiled a little, then I open the door and left.

I closed the door very carefully. I hope I didn't make noisy sounds that could wake her up.

I wonder what she was dreaming right now. _Is it me?_

_What are you thinking about, Benson?_

* * *

><p><strong>(Sam's Point of View)<strong>

As soon as I heard Freddie closing the door, I opened my eyes. I wasn't sleeping at all, I was just lying on Carly's couch, closing my eyes and wondering things.

I got up and sat on the couch, thinking about _him_.

I knew he was going to touch _something_. There was nothing on my head, silly. So, what was he gonna do? Hit my head? Pull my hair?

Or touch my goldie hair?

I chuckled to myself, laughing at my stupid thought that just burst into my head.

Freddie would never love me, wouldn't he? Even after that kiss—the kiss I'd never forget—I wasn't sure that her love to my brunette best friend Carly would ever fade away. Even after I told him that she only fell in love with what he'd done—saving her life—I guessed he would never give up.

Stupid boy. He should've opened his eyes wider.

I was always here, hoping he would ever notice that he meant everything to me.

I stood up and walked to Shay's kitchen. I opened the referigerator and took some ham.

As I sat on the chair with my mouth full of ham, I started to wonder.

I wonder… did the Tech Boy ever think about the kiss?

Did he like it?

Did he want more?

Did he dream about it?

... Like I always did?

I knew, I knew. I had told almost everyone, everytime, everywhere, that I hated him.

Could I just say that I always lied?

I finished the last piece of ham and I stood up, walking to the couch and jumped onto it.

I lay my head on a pillow and thought about him for like the 1000000th times today.

I had always loved him. That internet boy, Fredward Benson.

Since…

The first time we met.

Cheesy, I knew. Love at the first sight. Could you believe that Samantha Puckett had been in love with a mommy's boy since the first time they met?

But it was, however, very true. I always hid my feelings. I said I hated him, just to make sure that nobody could notice this little secret I had. I always hurt him in many ways, physically and emotionally, so that he would never think that I… _loved him_.

Because I was too shy to admit that he was my first love.

Because I was too afraid that he would leave me if I told him I loved him.

I never wanted to lose him. I would do _anything_ to keep him near.

And, yeah, if you're wondering how I felt… knowing that my first love was always in love with my best friend… you deserved to know.

* * *

><p><em>I saw Carly, leaving Benson's apartment. No, she was running away. She looked like she was hiding something…<em>

"_Hey Carls!"_

"_Whua!" she screamed. "Eh… you scared me."_

"_Yea I saw that," I laughed._

"_What were you doing behind that bush?" asked Carly._

"_Lying and wait… so I can get the drub on Spencer when he comes home," I answered._

_Carly nodded._

"_Man… you're looking whiter than usual," I said to her. "You okay?"_

"_Umh… yeah… I'm fine…" she chuckled and opened her apartment's door._

"_Freddie okay?" I asked._

"… _Yes…" she started acting weird, "… what are you? The girl with many questions?" she laughed to herself as she opened the door._

"_Eh… what's just happened in there?"_

_Carly screamed, "I KISSED FREDDIE!" and slammed the door._

* * *

><p>Do you know how it felt?<p>

Your best friend kissed your first love, and started dating him.

The awkwardness… pain… seeing her kissing the boy you loved right in front of you.

I was so glad that Freddifur finally broke her up, hehe.

Anyways...

I had always loved him.

I had never stopped loving him… although it had been almost 6 years since I realized this feeling…

I loved him. I wanted him to know, but I was scared to tell him everything. I didn't want him to laugh at me…

What could I do, then?

* * *

><p><strong>(Freddie's point of view)<strong>

What was I feeling?

I was always in love with Carly, wasn't I?

She had everything. Beauty, sweetness, beautiful voice, popularity, a caring brother, a loving best friend and a guy who'd never stop giving up on her… She has everything a girl ever wanted.

But lately, I wasn't really sure that I still felt the same about Carly.

_Those blue eyes of Sam's_…

Hey, but there's no way I could ever stop loving Carls!

But… I thought I started giving up on her…

I felt like my heart was splitting into two.

Well, at the moment… I was actually holding a photo in my hand. The three of us, when we were… you know, little. We were in Japan.

There were three people in that photo, but I couldn't stop staring at…

My blonde-headed demon with a large smile on her face.

Did I love her?

I always cared about her. But… did it mean that I was… in love with her?

I started thinking that I was never in love with Carly. I never really knew what love felt like. Maybe I was never in love with Carly. Maybe it was just a crush. Well, I was young when I saw her…

Maybe… I had been in love with someone else. I just never realized it…

Those blue eyes…

_Those lips that met mine for the very first time…_

Was I in love with her?

* * *

><p><em><strong>Well… what do you think about the story so far? Is it good? Is it bad? Do you wanna know what happens next? :))<strong>_


	3. Chapter 2: iSplit My Heart Into Two

**(Freddie's point of view)**

Everything seemed clearer now.

_I love Samantha Puckett_.

But… how? How could I love her? I meant… she was _Sam,_ she was just _Sam_. She called me with mean names; she kicked my butt, hit me, punched me, slapped me, spat into my eyes, she HURT me in many ways; … _and she shared her first kiss with me._

How could this happen?

How could I not realize it?

_Did she feel the same…?_

* * *

><p><strong>(General point of view)<strong>

_And there they were._

_She loved him,_

_He loved her._

_Everybody realized that…_

Except themselves.

* * *

><p><strong>(Freddie's point of view)<strong>

"Hey, is Carly here?" I went to Shay's apartment and I could only see Spencer, doing his sculpture.

"Yeah, she's in the bathroom," he said without looking at me. He seemed very busy.

And then I saw Carly. "Hey, Carls."

"What's up, Freddie? The webshow starts in 2 hours, why are you here already?" she asked me.

"Nothing. I… ah, I'm just avoiding from my mother."

Carly laughed, "Why? What did she do?"

I sighed. "She wanted me to drink a juice… if we could call it a juice. It's made from apples, oranges, pears, broccolis, tomatoes… almost every fruit that you can find in my kitchen. It's gross, I think she really has lost her mind."

"Ew. Is it healthy? Is it… tasty?"

"I don't know. I ran away before she finished making that 'juice'." I sat on the couch, so did she.

It was pretty quiet. Spencer had done his sculpture and ran into his room. Carly and I just sat on the couch, not talking or watching TV or something.

I stared at her and started thinking.

Had I really stopped loving this girl?

"So, tonight's webshow is about prom, right?" said her.

"Y-yeah," I responded. I laid my body to the couch. "I have already prepared my tux. How about you?"

"Great. Yeah, I have bought a cute mini dress for tonight. Hey, is it the same tux you're gonna wear 2 weeks later on school's prom night?"

"No. I'm just gonna wear my old tux tonight. I have bought a new tux to wear on the prom night," I answered.

"Sweet. Anyways… who's your date?" asked her.

I froze. I felt stupid… I hadn't thought about my date at all… "I… don't know."

She laughed. "How could you not know?"

"I haven't thought about it."

"But you already bought your tuxedo…"

"… Yeah."

"Silly."

"Uh-uh."

She stood up and walked to the kitchen. She took a bottle of soda and drank it. "Are you gonna ask me to be your date?"

I smiled. "No."

She looked surprised and chuckled, "Ah… how could you! You've always been in love with me, haven't you? And why don't you want me to go to the prom together? Have you stopped loving me?" she attacked me with ton of questions.

"I think I have…" I murmured.

She smiled, "Thank God, you finally gave up. I can't imagine if you're still waiting for me to love you until you're 50!"

I just laughed. "So, who's your date?"

She whispers. "Ssh… you really wanna know?"

"Yeah, I do."

"It's... Nevel Paperman."

I gasped, "Shut up!"

"Hahaha, gotcha!" she laughed. "No, kidding. I am not going to the prom with him, not in the world, not in heaven, not in hell. Never... ever… ever."

I exhaled, "Fiuh. So…?"

"I'm going with Nate. He's cute, by the way," she said as she walked away from the kitchen.

"Are you guys dating?"

She shook her head. "We're just friends. Hey, I wonder who Sam's date is…"

Again, I froze. Mm… what if she already had a date…

"… yeah, me too," I answered quietly.

* * *

><p>"Where's Sam?" Carly yelled for the 1,234,567th time. The webshow started in a minute and Sam was nowhere.<p>

Carly wore a broken white strapless dress. It was a simple and classy dress, but looked stunning. She looked perfect in that dress. Sexy. She braided her hair and used a white headband on her head. She didn't wear too much make up on her face, but enough to make her look beautiful. Well, she was always beautiful.

"I don't know! She didn't answer my phone calls."

And… there she was. She appeared in a beautiful purple long dress. I couldn't believe what I just saw… Samantha Puckett in a maxi dress? Looking _beautiful and perfectly gorgeous_…?

She didn't do anything with her curly blonde hair, I guessed she just combed it. She put a slight make up on her face. But she still looked perfect… _for me._

… and she wore high heels. A really, really high heels.

"Hey! I'm sorry I come here late—"

"Oh, you always do." Carly cut her words. "Come on! The webshow starts in a sec!"

"This dress makes me sick," Sam groaned.

I held my camera. "And why'd you wear that?" I smiled.

"This is the only dress that fits my body! I really have to buy another dress for the prom night," Sam sighed.

"You're really going to the prom night?" Carly looked surprised. Sam nodded, "Mm-hm."

I yelled, "In 5, 4, 3, 2…"

"Hey people! I'm Carly in a sweet little white dress—"

"—and I am Sam, wearing a loooong purple dress. How do you guys think about my dress, eh?" she smirked.

_It's beautiful. You're beautiful_.

"You're looking good, Sam," Carly smiled.

"I know!"

Carly and Sam looked at each other and then shouted, "And… this is a prom night themed iCarly!"

* * *

><p><strong>(Sam's point of view)<strong>

"And we're clear!" Freddie shouted.

"Uh… that was a tough one. I could barely stand on this freaking high heels. They reaaaaaaally hurt my feet!" I sighed and I put these shoes off of my feet.

Freddie chuckled, "Nobody asked you to wear those heels."

I froze, "Well… I… I just wanna look good tonight," I shrugged.

He smiled and said, "Good job then, you look pretty good tonight."

What?

Did he say I look pretty good tonight…?

_I'm almost dead_.

"Rrrr… thank you?" I raised my left eyebrow. He just smiled and closed his laptop.

"You guys are so cute, why don't you just go on a date and be a sweet couple?" Carly giggled.

Freddie and I looked at each other for a sec and then we stared at Carly. Incidentally, we spoke together, "What?"

"Ah, told you… you're such a cute couple."

"We're not even a couple," I rolled my eyes. _Yet._

Once again, she giggled. "I'm gonna leave you two here. I have to change this dress immediately."

"Okay," Freddie said. And then he opened his laptop and typed something.

I didn't want to leave the studio. I didn't wanna leave him.

He just said I looked pretty good…

Did he like my dress? Did he like _me?_

I shook my head and sit on a chair. _He loved Carly, _silly.

I really wanted to be here with him. Just the two of us…

For a few minutes, the studio was so quiet until I heard Freddie laughing his ass out. He really laughed so hard, what's wrong with that nerd?

"What are you laughing at, dork?" I asked.

"This video is insane," he looked at me and pointed at his laptop.

I stood up and asked curiously, "What's so funny?"

I stood up next to him and he moved his laptop so I could see the video, "Here."

I watched that video. 10 seconds later, I laughed so hard until I couldn't breathe air. "Holy cheese, this is hilarious! Look at how that very old man kicked his grandson's butt! He is still strong… God bless him!" I laughed until I dropped a tear.

"Hahaha," he just laughed until the video ended a while later. We were still laughing until we didn't know why we were laughing. And then things became awkward.

We still smiled because of that video but we had stopped laughing. He looked at me, still smiling, and I turned my head so I could see his caramel eyes right in front of me.

_Oh, his smile…_

He turned his head and closed his laptop.

"Umm… I think I should… change my dress… so… I, uh…" I stuttered.

"… Yeah. Uhm, see you later," he smiled. I smiled back and turned around.

I almost reached the door handle, but then I stopped walking.

I had to ask him to be my date on the prom night…

I didn't want to be late. I didn't want another girl to ask him first and go to the prom with him. He had to go with me, only me.

So, I turned around,

"Freddie, I—whoa!"

When I turned around, Freddie was standing right behind me. I didn't know that he was there, so I was shocked and I almost fell down.

He grabbed my arms, so I grabbed his. I didn't fall because he held me.

He was so close, so near to me. Our eyes met, and we couldn't stop staring at each other's eyes. His brown eyes were so amazing, they made me crazy. The distance between our faces was just like 8 centimeters.

I wonder what he was thinking right now. Did my eyes make him crazy?

I could feel his breath stroked my cheek.

A few seconds later, he leaned his face to mine. I was frozen, I couldn't do anything. I couldn't feel anything. I couldn't think… I couldn't breathe…

_What is he gonna do…?_

And his lips met mine.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: What do you think is gonna happen next? :)- P.S, I'm sorry if I made a loooot of mistakes, especially the grammar. DX**

**Hope you guys like it!**


	4. Chapter 3: iDate Sam

**(Freddie's point of view)**

"… Yeah. Uhm, see you later," I smiled. She smiled and then turned around.

And then I started thinking about the prom. I hadn't asked anyone yet to be my date. Because I wanted to go to the prom with Sam.

_Do I really have to ask her?_

My heart was beating so fast. Should I ask her? Ugh, I didn't know how to ask her. She would rip my head off.

I wanted to go with her.

But besides, I didn't know if she already had a date…

I walked behind her and stopped, because she also stopped walking.

She turned her back, "Freddie, I—whoa!"

We were shocked and she almost fell. So I grabbed her arms, I tried to hold her.

She was right in front of me.

I could stare deeply at her beautiful blue eyes. Her eyes widened, so did mine. We stood still and it was so quiet and awkward.

I couldn't help myself. I had been thinking about the kiss we shared 2 years ago... and right now her lips were right there, waiting for my lips to kiss them. I wanted to feel her lips once more. I wanted to kiss her…

I moved my head forward to hers. It was so close, I could feel her breath. I could also feel her body froze.

Slowly, I closed my eyes. And then, I pressed my lips onto hers gently.

My mind counts the seconds that had passed.

13 seconds later, I ended the kiss.

There was another awkward silence.

We just stared at each other's eyes, not knowing what to do or what to say. It felt like my brain had been shut. My mind was blank. I was surprised that I finally kissed her for the second time, although we had sworn that this would never happen again. **(A/N: this scene happens after iKiss, but before iOMG :P )**

I saw her lips moved as she wanted to say something. I kept quiet, I let her speak.

"Freddie… I…"

"Mm?"

"I want to tell you something…"

What was she gonna tell me? _I'm curious._

* * *

><p><strong>(Sam's point of view)<strong>

"I want to tell you something…"

I gulped. I was nervous… what. Sam Puckett was nervous, that was unbelievable.

I was still shocked that Fredward kissed me. I thought we had sworn that we'd never do this anymore… But whatever. This felt good. Awesome. Amazing. He was such a good kisser, and I hope I was also a good kisser.

I tried to continue my "speech". So hard, because I felt like my tongue was tangled and my mouth was locked. But I tried…

"I… I like you, Freddo," I whispered and I looked at the ground. I was afraid to look at his eyes. I tried to avoid eye-contacts. "I always do."

He stayed silent, so I spoke again.

"Since… I don't know. A long time ago? And I never told you because… I was scared. I was scared that if I told you… everything would change. And I'm still scared. I don't want to change. I… I want you near. I'm sorry, I know I should've told you earlier but you've always been in love with my best friend… I'm sorry, dork."

Although I didn't look at his face, I knew he was shocked. Me too. I couldn't believe I just said that…

"_I love you."_ I whispered.

Again, another silence.

I hated being silent.

He didn't say anything. I started to feel embarrassed because I thought he didn't feel the same. _I knew it._

I tried to get off of his arms but then he spoke, softly.

"… I love you too, Princess Puckett."

I froze. I looked up and I saw him… smiling.

I finally smiled and I put my hands around his neck. He grabbed my waist and we kissed again. Deeply. Passionately. Again, and again, and again.

I could feel that he was smiling.

A few minutes later we ended our makeout session. We smiled. I was so happy and speechless. I didn't think it would be this easy!

"Do you wanna go to prom with me?" he said in a flirty tone.

I nodded, "Of course Mama does, Fredweird!"

He laughed, and then we heard Carly's voice.

"Sam! Freddie! You guys still up there?" she shouted.

Freddie immediately opened his laptop and pretended like he was doing some researches. I ran to a table where Carly had put her lame book and I took it, pretended like I was reading it. Uh, there was no way I could be interested in this book.

Carly opened the door.

"Hey, you're still here… and still wearing tux and dress."

"Yeah," said Freddie. I nodded.

"What were you guys doing here while I was gone?" asked Carly.

"Nothing," Freddie muttered.

I shook my head, "Not at all."

Carly nodded, "Okay then… Sam! Gimme that book, I need to read it."

"Why?"

"I just wanna read it."

I threw that book to her.

She looked at me and Freddie. "I'm going to my room just for a while and then I'll be back here, soon. Do you guys want me to bring something when I come back?"

"Nope."

"I want meat."

Carly walked to the door and she turned around. Once again, she looked at me and Freddie suspiciously. "Okay, so… I'm gonna leave you two here in our studio…"

Freddie and I looked at each other, confused.

"Awkay?" I raised my eyebrows.

Carly smirked, "You guys aren't gonna do anything… right?"

Freddie chuckled nervously, "… of course not…"

"Are you sure?"

"Yep," I nodded.

"I'll be back… soon," Carly whispered. And then she closed the door.

As soon as Carly left, I looked at Freddie and ran into him.

I hugged his neck and he held my waist. I stood on my toes so I could be a bit taller and kiss him more deeply.

We kissed again for the next 10 minutes. 

* * *

><p><strong>(Carly's point of view)<strong>

I still wonder what Sam and Freddie had done that night in our studio.

It was just surprising me that they could actually stay in a room—just the two of them!—without arguing or trying to kill each other. And I felt something was going wrong between them…

I felt like they had changed lately. Sam was being more girly—well, she still refused to wear dresses and girls' things but her attitude had a bit changed. She became _polite_, a bit more like _me_. That was so wrong.

I could feel that she wanted to change. She tried to change… because of someone she really cared. Probably.

Freddie… well, I was a bit surprised when he admitted that he have _moved on_ from me. That was crazy. He had always been in love with me for years, well, at least he said so.

And I swore I saw them sharing flirty glances yesterday at school.

I started to think that maybe they were in love, but… NO. THERE WAS NO WAY SAM COULD BE IN LOVE WITH FREDDIE.

It's not that I was jealous… but it just didn't make sense. They always hated each other. They couldn't be in love.

And if they were, they would have told me, right? They had promised me not to keep any secrets from me. Uh, well… if they were really in love, I'd be happy for them. Even though it was still hard for me to believe.

Someone knocked the door and I shouted, "Come in!"

Freddie and Sam walked into my apartment together. They had a little argument, yelling at each other and then Freddie—as usual—lost. He groaned.

"I told you, I will always win!" Sam shouted and smiled. Surprisingly, instead of groaning even louder, Freddie also smiled.

"What's up?" I asked them. Sam jumped onto my couch and Freddie sat in front of my computer. He turned it on and typed something.

"Nothing," said Freddie.

Sam took a bowlful of popcorns on the coffee table.

"Anyway, I still can't believe we're going to college together next fall!" I shouted in excitement.

"Yeah," Freddie took an apple from a bowl beside the computer, "I can't believe Sam actually is accepted!"

"Shut up, nub." Sam threw a popcorn to Freddie's head. "I'm not that stupid." Freddie rolled his eyes and smiled again. Wait… was that… a _flirty smile?_

I just smiled, "We don't need to move from here and we still can do our webshow. Isn't that great?"

"Totally," Sam murmured. She didn't look very happy, she looked sad. It was like something was going through her mind right now. Something that made her very unhappy and upset.

Yeah, the three of us were going to Seattle University, together! A few days ago, after we were done doing our prom themed webshow, Freddie checked his account and he said he got an e-mail, saying that he was accepted. So, me and Sam immediately checked our account and we both got the same e-mail!

We were so lucky that the college wasn't that far away from my apartment and Sam's house, so we didn't have to move anywhere. And even though we'd be extremely busy, we'd still be doing iCarly every Saturday night! Woo-hoo!

"Ouch!" Sam suddenly shouted in pain. She threw the bowl in her hand and the popcorns were spreading everywhere. She screamed, her eyes were closed and her hands were on her head. I guessed she had a bad headache.

"Sam? Sam? What's happened?" I asked her. I rubbed her hand.

"No—nothing, I'm al-right… aw!"

Freddie jumped from the chair and ran. "Sam, are you okay?" he seemed pretty worried.

He put his hand on her shoulder. "I'm… okay. I just need some water… and ham, please."

I stood up and ran to the kitchen. I took a glass of water and some ham, and I went back to Sam.

Freddie was still there, sitting beside Sam. He really cared about Sam.

"Tell me what happened, Sam. Why did you scream like that? Are you hurt?"

Sam shook her head and then Freddie gasped.

"Oh, God. Carly, I need some tissue… or sheet… or whatever! Her nose is bleeding!"

I put the glass and the ham on the coffee table and I ran to find the tissue. Oh, where the heck was the tissue? And since when did I, Carly Shay, started to curse?

"Wh-what? Am I bleeding? I am not—" Sam denied, but then she felt a drop of blood on her upper lips, "—oh."

"Here!" I gave Freddie a box of tissue and he took one. And then he wiped Sam's blood gently.

Shortly after that, her nose stopped bleeding. And I thought the headache had gone away. She took the glass of water and drank it slowly.

"Thanks Carly," Sam looked at me, and then Freddie, "Thanks, dork."

I nodded. But then she stood up.

Freddie grabbed her hand and stood up, "Wait, where are you going?"

"Mm… home?" She pulled her hand off of Freddie's hand.

"But you can stay here for a while and take some rest. What if you get that headache again on your way home?" I said.

"I'll take you home," said Freddie.

She refused, "No, no. I'm just gonna… sleep," she took the ham and then opened the door, "Bye."

Freddie and I looked at each other, we were very confused. What happened to Sam?

"What's wrong with her?" I asked Freddie.

He kept quiet, and a while later he replied, "I don't know."

We just sat there on the couch, wondering why Sam acted like that. We didn't speak, until I broke the silence.

"You care about Sam."

Freddie turned his head. He froze, and then murmured, "… yeah, maybe."

"Freddie?"

"Hm?"

"You know, a few days ago you told me that you… have stopped loving me. Is that true?"

"Yeah. Why? Do you want me to be in love with you again?" he smirked.

I giggled, "No."

"Then why?"

"Nothing. I was just asking. So, now… I guess you're not in love with anyone, eh?"

Freddie looked down, and then whispered, "Well… I am in love…"

I frowned. "But… you said you have stopped loving me, didn't you?"

He looked at me and smiled, "I didn't say I was in love with you, Carls."

"Ah," I gasped in disbelief. "So… who are you in love with?" I asked him.

"You don't wanna know."

"Of course I do! Tell me. Now."

"You're not gonna believe it."

"Why?"

"Because…" Freddie sighed, "It's just… something you've never expected."

"I see."

"Huh?"

"You love Sam, don't you?"

Freddie's face looked shocked. "Uh…"

"Just admit it, Freddie!"

"Well, I'm gonna tell you something, Carls."

"What? Tell me," I forced him to tell me everything.

"First, I'm sorry because I've actually been keeping a secret from you—I know, I know I've promised that I won't keep any secret but… I just didn't want you to know. So… you know, the night after our last webshow about prom, you left me and Sam in the studio, just the two of us. We… kinda watched something on my laptop and then… we kissed. At first none of us spoke and it was very awkward but then… she told me a confession that she… liked me. I told her I love her too. And we kissed again. And then you came back to the studio. And after you left, we… kissed. Again. And we've been dating since."

I knew it… but I was still surprised to hear the whole story, "Wh-what?"

"Look, I'm really sorry I didn't tell you earlier. Please don't be mad at me and Sam…"

"YOU GUYS ARE DATING? WHOA!" I shouted.

"Aw, you don't need to shout, seriously."

"Sorry… I'm just surprised."

"So… you're not mad at me?"

I bit my lips. "No… well, a bit. But I'm happy for you two," I smiled.

He smiled, "Thanks."

I sighed, "Well, I still wonder what happened to her. I'm worried, you know?"

"I know. Me too."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: So, do you like this chapter? Do you wanna know what happens to Sam? Stay tuned, and give me some review! :D :D :D :D btw, (again!) sorry if there are a lot of wrong grammars. My english is prettty bad :( But still, i'd really appreciate if you give some review for this story :)**


	5. Chapter 4: iAm Worried

**(Sam's point of view)**

I got home and found out that Melanie was here in Seattle.

And also my dad.

See, for the past 6 or 7 months, the relationship between me and my mom got better and better. I didn't really know what is the main reason that she had changed this much, but she only said that she wanted to be a better person and a better mother for me. It wasn't all that hard, though. Just a bit awkward at the beginning, but finally… for the first time I knew how was it to have a _real_ mother.

She actually was a good mother. I never really hated her, and I knew she loved me.

The relationship between me and Melanie was also getting better. I tried to be a good sister to her—well, she didn't have to try because she already was a good sister.

And what surprised me the most is the appearance of my dad.

I hadn't seen him since forever. I realized that I really missed him, no matter what he had done with me and my family. He just couldn't be with my mom, so he had to leave. But I still blamed him for that.

He finally showed up 2 months ago. He came to my house, such a surprise that he found out where me and my mom lived. They had a little argument, but then they finally made up. No, they weren't getting re-married. My dad was happy with his life now, being single and free. And my mom was already engaged to a pilot. They had been together for almost 8 months—I guessed he was the reason my mom changed, God bless—and they were getting married in a few months.

At first I had thought that my dad wouldn't be so far like my mother—messed up, had a new girlfriend every week, and so on. But I was wrong. He was very succesful now until he didn't need any woman to be his wife. He had a much better life. You know the Pear Company—the one who invented those amazing gadgets; PearPhones, PearPad, PearPod, PearTunes, etc? My dad was one of the owner of that company. He was fudging rich. And he loved me.

I was so glad that finally I had a real family. I had never thought of having a mom who would love me this much, a dad who would buy anything for me—HAM! HAM! HAM!—and a sister who would understand me. People changed, and I was lucky that they changed in a good way. That was why I wanted to change a little bit—I haven't been in jail since 3 months ago. Impressive, huh?

"Samantha!"

"Dad!"

We hugged for a couple seconds, and then we pulled away. He kissed my cheek and combed my curly hair with his fingers.

Melanie stood in front of me, she just waved her hand and smile. My mom showed up from the kitchen and offered us to sit on the couch.

"I brought some ham," I put it on the table in front of the couch.

"Don't say that you stole that from Carly's," said Melanie.

I shrugged. "Well, I didn't really steal it. She gave me."

"Sam," my mother looked at my face, "you don't look so well. Did you bleed again?"

I froze, "Yes."

My mom sighed and hugged me. "You really need to be treated better, Samantha."

"Yes, you need to take the doctor's advice," said Mel. She looked worried. "I don't want to see you getting worse and worse."

"I'm okay," I mumbled.

"No, you're not, honey," said my dad. "And this is why I came here."

"Huh?"

"You and Mel are moving to my place," said my dad.

"What?" I almost yelled at my parents.

My mom looked at my eyes with a serious look on her face, "See, I am getting married and I've been living with you for 18 years. And I know I haven't been a really good mother to you. I just want you to have a better life, and I realize that you will have a better life if you live with your dad. I'm not rich, and he is. I'm not able to pay your medical treatments, but your dad is. I want you to be cured. I don't want to see you like this."

"But… but I'm not going to London! I'm not leaving Seattle and my friends here… and iCarly! Besides, I have to go to college, with Carly and Freddie! We've planned to go together since years ago, I don't wanna ruin our plan…" I started to cry. I've been really weak lately. I got emotional easily. I wasn't tough anymore.

"Sam, listen," said Melanie. "It's for your best. Besides, we couldn't find a good place here in Seattle to help you to get rid of your illness, okay?" she comforted me.

"But I—"

"Sam, please?"

"—I don't want to leave them!" I sobbed.

My dad rubbed my hand softly, "You still can visit Seattle sometimes, sweetie. And you don't have to go to college if you don't want to, we have to focus on your recovery."

I shook my head and I stood up, "I just want to live here!" I ran to my room and slammed the door.

I cried myself to sleep.

* * *

><p>I woke up the next morning and found out that Freddie had been sending me hundreds messages and tried to call me a thousand times. I didn't reply or answer the call because I fell asleep and my phone was on silent mode.<p>

So I texted him, _"Sorry I didn't reply & answer your calls last nite. I fell asleep earlier and my phone was on silent mode. Luv u, techboy."_

Less than a minute later, my phone vibrated. Freddie called.

"Sam!"

"Hey, Freddork."

"Where have you been?" he almost yelled, but I knew it wasn't because he was angry. He was just worried.

"I told you I fell asleep last night."

"What happened to you?" he asked.

"What? Nothing happened. I'm just fine."

"You're such a liar. I could hear it from your voice that you aren't."

I sighed, "Okay, just a little argument with my family last night."

"But are you really okay now?"

"Yes, Freddio, I'm okay," I convinced him.

"Good to know," he stopped for a few seconds and then spoke again, "Are you sick or something? Why did your nose bleed and why did you seem to have a very bad headache yesterday? Is there something wrong happen to you? And why did you just leave."

"I'm not sick, I'm just fine and healthy. I left because I wanted to leave," I lied.

"So, you're going to school today?"

"Yep."

"Okay."

"Okay."

"Eh—wait, don't end the call. I… I wanna tell you something," he said.

"What?"

"So… um, Carly asked me if you and I were dating. And since I couldn't lie to her face like that, I said yes. I'm sorry, I really couldn't lie to her. And I've—we've—promised her that we'd tell everything—"

"—Alright, alright, I see. That's okay. She's gonna find out someday anyway." I cut his words off.

"You're not mad?" he sounded surprised.

"No, why should I be?"

He sighed. "Alrighty then. I gotta take a shower now," he said.

"Yeah, me too."

"See you at school."

"See you."

Silence. But the call wasn't ended yet.

He spoke again, "… I love you."

"I love you too."

I smiled, and hung up the phone.

Someone knocked on my door.

"Come in," I said. And Melanie appeared.

"Hi," she smiled and sat on the bed, next to me.

"Hey."

"How are you doing?"

"I'm… fine. Kinda."

"You know if you need me I'll be there for you. Whenever, wherever. Just talk to me, let me know what is going through your mind just now. I'll listen to you, maybe it'll make you feel better."

I looked down and smiled. "I just don't wanna leave them."

"But this is for your best, Sam. I know you understand us."

"I understand, Melanie. But it's just so hard to decide. I've been living with them since I was little, doing this webshow called iCarly together, traveled to Japan and got kidnapped by two Japanese idiot webstars, got trapped by a psychotic fan, hang out almost everyday drinking smoothies… I just… I don't know how to be without them. I love them. So much. And you know that."

She sighed, "I know."

"I do know that mom and dad just want the best for me. I want to. I also want to be cured. I never wanna have this fudging illness taking control of my body and making me any weaker day by day. But leaving my life behind… it just seems like I won't have any life anymore, so why bother? My life is here. Leaving Seattle, equals having no life. And most of all, I love Freddie. I can't live without him—I don't care if this sounds cliché but I really do love him more than I love ham."

"It's complicated."

"It really is."

Melanie put her hand on my shoulder. I looked at her and she smiled to comfort me.

I smiled. "I'll try to think about it. Now I gotta take a shower."

* * *

><p><strong>(Freddie's point of view)<strong>

She finally showed up. I stared at her eyes and she just smiled. She opened her locker and took some books. Then she closed it and turned around to see me standing right in front of her.

I leaned my right hand on the locker above her head and I put my left hand on her waist. She touched my left cheek with her right hand and grabbed it to make my face get closer to hers, so I bended down a little. I kissed her slightly and pulled back my head. I didn't care if everyone are now staring at us, a tech nerd and a bully who hated each other and ended up being a couple… and just made out in the hallway.

"How are you doing?" I asked her.

"Just fine," she half-smiled. Few seconds later she pushed my chest until I nearly fell backwards and she smirked, "Now let me go to my class. Mama doesn't wanna hear Mr. Howard's lame speech."

She waved and walked away but I stopped her my grabbing her wrist. "Wait."

"Whaddup, Fredpus?"

"Another kiss, please?"

She shook her head and slapped my face, jokingly, but then she stood on her toes to kiss my cheek. "Was it enough?"

I grinned, "Actually, no."

She chuckled. And that was the moment when I saw blood ran down from her nose.

I widened my eyes and gave her a worried look, "Sam, you're bleeding again."

She stopped laughing and wiped away the blood. "No, I'm not. And I'm leaving." She turned around and walked away.

Once again I stopped her, "Sam! What is wrong with you?"

"Nothing, Freddie, nothing."

"You lied."

"I SAID NOTHING!" she yelled at my face, and I could see the blood running even faster. "Just… leave me alone."

She ran away to the bathroom. I just stood there until the bell rang.

_I'm fricking scared._

* * *

><p><em><em>

**A/N: I just posted two chapters in one day! Crazy! And once again pardon my bad english :c But i'm really looking forward to reading good reviews from you guys! :D**

**Hope you all liked this chapter. xo - T**_  
><em>


	6. Chapter 5: iMake a Mistake

**A/N: First, I'm sorry that it took a long time for me to upload this chapter. And... this one is a pretty long chapter. I guess you all will like it :D (well, i hope so!) And don't forget to give this chapter some reviews! xo.**

**(Sam's point of view)**

I really didn't want Freddie to see me bleeding right in front of him.

I ran away to the bathroom and cleaned the blood. Not just the blood that ruined my day, but also this freaking headache. It really killed me. It felt like your head was being hit by a metal baseball bat over and over again. Plus, my bones hurt. My whole body is painful!

I stayed there in the bathroom, waiting until the pain went away. 30 minutes later, I realized I couldn't just hide here until I collapsed in the bathroom without anyone knowing I stuck there in pain. So I tried to stood up and ran away from school. I skipped school, again.

I tried so hard to ignore the pain and ran to my house. I was exhausted. I didn't have energy left. I knocked my door over and over again. And then Mel opened the door and was shocked.

"Sam? Sam! What happened—"

I couldn't hear what she said, because my head felt like spinning around. I fell to the ground and everything went black.

* * *

><p><strong>(Carly's point of view)<strong>

Finally, the school was over. Now I need to find Freddie.

There he was, talking with some of the people from his nerdy club. "Freddie! FREDDIE!" I yelled at him.

He turned around and walked to me, "What?"

"Have you seen Sam?" I asked him.

He sighed, "No. The last time I saw her was this morning. And then she was gone."

"What happened?"

"We were just talking and suddenly I saw her bleeding again. I told her that her nose is bleeding and she just ran away. She disappeared just like that. She must have skipped school," he explained.

"Oh my God, we really need to find out what happened," I gulped nervously. He just nodded.

I could see fear in Freddie's eyes. He was scared. I held his hand to make him feel better.

He half-smiled, and then walked away.

* * *

><p><strong>(Sam's point of view)<strong>

_Where am I?_

I woke up, realizing that I wasn't in my bedroom. I looked around and found out that I was in hospital.

"Sam? Can you hear me?" I heard my dad's voice.

"Yeah."

"How do you feel, honey?" he kissed my forehead.

"Not good," I groaned, "where am I and what time is it?"

"You're in hospital and it's 50 past 5 p.m," he answered.

"Oh, God. I really have to get out of here! iCarly rehearsal starts in 10 minutes, dad!"

"You have to stay here, Samantha."

"No!" I got up from my bedroom. My dad tried to stop me, but surprisingly… I was still stronger than him. I ran away and stopped a taxi.

I arrived at my house. I tried to open the door and I was lucky that my mom once again forgot to lock the door.

I changed my bloody clothes and washed my face. I found Melanie's lipstick and I pressed it to hide my pale lips. I went out of my room and took some pills of aspirin.

I ran away to Carly's apartment and arrived there a few minutes later.

Carly and Freddie looked surprised to see me.

"Sam! Where have you been?" Carly shouted.

"Nowhere."

Freddie hugged me, "We were so worried that you skipped school and disappeared."

I hugged him back. "Don't be."

He pulled off the hug and pressed his lips to mine. And he realized something, "Hey, you're using lipstick?"

I froze, "Yeah," I touched his lips and chuckled, "there's also lipstick on your lips."

"Hey, kiddos, I made some spaghetti tacos. Want some?" said Spencer

"Of course!" Carly and Freddie ran to the table where Spencer put the plates.

"Nah, I want meat," I groaned.

"I added some ham in it," Spencer shouted.

I ran, "Now step aside, kids! Mama's starving!"

"Sam, do you wanna tell me why you left school… and why you were bleeding?" asked Carly.

"Nope," I shook my head and grabbed Spencer's tacos. "Man, you have to give me the recipe."

Freddie sighed, "Sam—"

Someone knocked the door before Freddie could finish his sentence. Carly yelled at him, "You get the door, Freddie."

"Fine," and then Freddie opened the door.

There was Melanie, "Is Sam here?"

"Yes she is—WHOA! WHAT?" his eyes widened.

Melanie asked, "Can I come in?"

"Y-yes… but-but… you… you're…"

"I'm Melanie. I'm sure we've met once before," she smiled.

Carly and I laughed so hard. Freddie looked so dumb.

"So… Melanie is… r-real?"

"Yes, you dumb," I yelled at him. "Melanie, why are you here?"

"Why are you here?" Melanie looked upset.

"I'm starving," I said with my mouth full of taco.

"But you're not supposed to leave—" she cut her own words, "—uh, well, I just wanna let you know that mom's waiting for you to come home."

"Yeah. I'll be back after we finished rehearsing."

"Okay, bye then. " Melanie turned around and smiled at Freddie, "Bye, Freddie!"

"… bye," Freddie still looked shocked.

Melanie closed the door and Freddie looked at me and Carly with his eyes opened wide. "She's… she's—"

"Yeah, my identical twin sister."

"But you said she wasn't real?"

I shrugged, "You looked so dumb and funny."

"Wow. She really looks like you."

Carly laughed, "Of course she does, they're twins!"

And then we started to talk about college. Actually, they did. I just sat on the chair, eating tacos, and kept silent. They didn't notice me being quiet, which is a good thing.

I really didn't want to think about college. I was still confused. I didn't know which one to choose.

I didn't wanna leave them. But I also didn't wanna let them see me dying because of my illness. But I didn't wanna ruin iCarly. But I... Ugh, I really didn't know what to choose!

And after that, Carly talked about prom night.

"Sam, have you bought your dress yet?"

I shook my head, "Not yet. Melanie's gonna find a perfect dress for me, though."

"You're so lucky you have an identical twin sister," Carly smiled. "Anyways, you and Freddie will go together as a date, right?"

"Mm-hm," me and Freddie nodded.

"Great! I can't wait for the prom, it's just a week away!"

I half-smiled. I actually didn't know if I'd be able to go to the prom with this condition.

* * *

><p>"Sam," Melanie knocked the door.<p>

"Just come in," I responded. She opened the door and walked into my room.

"How do you feel?" she sat on my bed.

"Good. Well, not really," I admitted. "Hey, do you wanna help me?"

"Of course I do! What can I help you, sist?"

"The prom night is coming in a few weeks and I still don't have a dress to wear—"

"—don't worry, Sam! I'll find a perfect dress for you, as soon as possible. What kind of dress do you want?" she cut my words, she knew what I was gonna say.

"You know me so well, don't you?"

"Of course I do."

"As long as I can move freely in that dress, it's just OK."

"Hmmm, the color?"

"It's up to you. But not pink, please. It's gross. Just the simple one. And for the shoes, I think I could just borrow yours. Can i?"

"Yes, you can! You can pick any shoes you want," she smiled.

"Thank you, Melanie. You're the best," I hugged her.

"I know."

"And, Melanie?"

Melanie turned her head to me, "Mm?"

"I think you should find a dress with a smaller size than your size," I murmured.

"Why? I thought we had the same size," she frowned.

"We used to. But," I sighed, "I've lost weight."

She looked at me and gulped, "Oh, okay. You don't have to worry."

I smiled.

* * *

><p><strong>(Freddie's point of view)<strong>

I knocked Shay's apartment's door and I could hear Carly shouted, "Come in!" so, I opened the door and went inside.

"What's up, Freddie?"

I sat on the couch, "Nothing. I'm just bored. Is Sam here?"

"No."

"She's usually here, stealing food from your fridge. Or taking a nap on your couch."

"Yeah, but you do notice that she's been changing, right?"

I muttered, "Yeah."

I turned on the TV. "Carls?"

"Yeah?"

"Did you notice Sam's expression yesterday, while we were talking about college?"

She frowned, tried to remember, "No, why?"

I shrugged, "I don't know, I just felt like she didn't wanna talk about college. She looked… depressed?"

"What? Why?"

I rolled my eyes, "I don't know, Carly. That's why I'm asking you."

She raised her eyebrows and bit her lips.

"I wanna go upstairs, to the studio," I informed her.

She nodded, "Okay."

I walked to the studio and opened my laptop. I checked our website and read some of the comments.

Almost all the comments were about Carly and Sam's dresses. They all said the girls looked beautiful on our last webshow. Yeah, they really were.

And then, I go to iSnaps page and checked at some of our photos.

Samantha Puckett. She was crazy, she always got into many troubles, but she was indeed beautiful. I didn't know how to describe my feelings to her because it was too complicated. We hated each other, we really did. But now, seeing her blue eyes just made my heart stop beating. I didn't know how she could do that, how she could make me find her so attractive in her own way. She was my demon. She always drove me crazy.

And then I saw Carly's pictures.

She was Carly Shay. She was loving and caring. She always did good things. Never got into trouble, but always got good scores. She was smart and pretty. She helped people a lot. She's the best friend a person ever needed. She was an incredible girl. I knew I had always been in love with her. Everything that she did made me love her.

But then Sam and I shared our first kiss at the fire escape, and I knew something had changed deep down there in my heart.

I couldn't see her as a demon anymore. Well, yeah, sometimes. A lot of times. But I honestly enjoyed that. I liked how she smiled when she finally got me. I liked to see her yelling proudly because she won a fight against me.

But Carly was still under my skin. My heart still stopped when she looked at my eyes. I still wanted to kiss her once more, just like after the taco truck incident. I still enjoyed touching her hands. I still loved her smile, her dark eyes, and her brunette hair.

I knew, I sounded like a jerk, didn't I? But I couldn't help it. I couldn't stop thinking about them, _both of them_. They really meant everything to me.

And now I was dating Sam. But I still couldn't get Carly out of my mind…

Someone opened the door and it was Carly. I closed my laptop.

"Hey, what are you doing here?" asked her.

"I was just, uh, checking our website," I answered.

She nodded, "Oh." And then she crossed her arms, "How's it going between you and Sam?"

I shrugged, "Good."

"Good."

"Why?"

"Huh?" she frowned.

I smirked, "Are you jealous of me and Sam?"

"No, silly." She chuckled, "I'm just still… surprised that you could get me off of your heart," she grinned.

I looked down. "Hm, Carly?"

"Yeah?"

I bit my lip nervously and walked closer to her. "I can't keep secrets from you."

She frowned, "You can just tell me your secrets, Freddie."

"Yeah, but it's… hard to tell you. But I have to tell you because I can't keep this secret from you. But I don't know how to tell you. But I—"

She smiled and looked at my eyes. My heart stopped beating, "Just tell me."

"Okay," I took a deep breath, "I… I don't think I'm over you."

She uncrossed her arms and put her hands on her tiny waist, "What?" her eyes widened in shock.

"I love Sam… but I… I still can't stop thinking about you. I thought I had already moved on from you but I realize that I still have something for you… Carly, I'm sorry, I think I'm still in love with you. Please don't tell Sam."

She shook her head, still looked surprised, "Can't you just forget about me already? You have Sam! You love her and she loves you, Freddie. You can't be in love with me!"

"I can't just forget it, okay? I've tried… but I can't! It's not as easy as you think," I sighed.

"Don't you think about Sam?"

"I do, Carly."

"And then why are you doing this to her?" she yelled at me.

"I don't think I do something wrong! I just can't help myself that I'm in love with her, and you! I'm in love with both of you!"

"Then just stop it! Stop loving me, or Sam! You can't be in love with both of us! We're best friends, you silly nerd!"

She looked pretty upset.

I groaned, "I cannot, Carly. I'm too attached."

She gulped and looked at me with full of anger. I stepped forward, closer to her.

"I'm sorry, Carly."

She didn't say anything.

Slowly, I leaned my head closer to hers and kissed her lips. At first, she seemed shocked, but I couldn't believe that she kissed me back. We kissed more and more deeply, but I wanted more, and she finally responded my gesture by putting her hands on my shoulder. I grabbed her waist, just like I always did when I kissed Sam, _my girlfriend_.

Oh my God. What did I do.

I wanted to stop, but I couldn't. Though, we kissed more passionately. She stepped forward until her body was pressed against mine and there was no space between us. I held her body even tighter. We kissed, and kissed, and kissed, and kissed,

until I heard a sound of a breaking ceramic thing.

We pulled away and both our jaws dropped into the ground when we saw someone familiar with a shocked expression on the face.

Sam.

She looked at me with full anger on her face and she shook her head, she couldn't believe what I just did with her best friend.

Carly whispered, I could feel fear in her voice, "S-sam?"

Sam turned and ran away. I just stood there, frozen. My feet couldn't move. My lips couldn't speak. My brain couldn't think.

Carly pushed my body away and screamed at me, "Look what you've done, Fredward Benson!"

I stood still.

"What are you waiting for? Run! Go for her!"

I didn't respond. How could I run for her if my feet weren't able to move?

"You're such a jerk, you know!" she slapped my face very hard and turned, running away to find Sam.

I did a mistake. A very, very big mistake.

* * *

><p><strong>(Sam's point of view)<strong>

I opened the door and found Spencer who was doing another sculpture.

"Where's Freddumb and Carly?" I asked.

"Upstairs, in the studio," he responded, "hey, if you could… please help me to—"

"—later," I ran before he could finish his words.

I came here, to tell them about my illness. I couldn't hide this from them forever. So here I was.

It was a hard decision, you know? Me and Melanie had talked about this all night, and finally we both agreed that my best friends had to know the truth. I could feel my hands shaking, I was so afraid to tell them.

I stopped right in front of the door and I felt like my heart exploded.

I couldn't believe what I saw.

I saw them, my best friend and my new boyfriend, kissing behind my back. Not realizing that I was there, watching them chewing one another's lips.

I didn't know what I felt. I guessed I just couldn't explain the feeling. Well, it hurt so much. I felt so dumb for believing him when he'd said he was over her. He was never over her, not a moment, and this kissing scene explained everything.

How could I believe him? I should have known that no matter what happens, he would always be in love with her. Not me, the blonde-headed demon who loves ham and kicking people's butt. It would always be her, the kind, nice, and sweet brunette who always had everything I didn't have.

As I tried so hard not to make a sound that would interrupt this moment, I walked away, very slowly. And this careless girl—yeah, me—accidentally touched an antique vase on the table beside me. I touched it kinda hard, and it fell down and broke into pieces.

I gasped in horror, realizing that the kissing couple would have heard the sound of the breaking vase beside me. And yeah, they did. They stopped the kiss and they finally realized that I had been standing there, watching them kissing in our studio.

Carly looked so shocked, knowing that I'd been seeing her smooching my boyfriend. "S-sam?" she whispered.

Fredjerk just stood there. I gave him a "i-need-an-explanation" look, I felt so much pain in my chest. I could barely breathe. And he was still standing there, doing nothing.

I thought it was enough, so I turned back and ran away. But before I reached Shay's Apartment's door, someone grabbed my hand, trying to make me stop.

I hoped it was Fredbitch, but I could only see Carly with a "I'm-really-sorry-I-didn't-mean-to" look on her face.

So I stopped running away and gave her an angry look, "What do you want? Is kissing my boyfriend not enough, C?"

For a moment, I noticed that Freddie wasn't here in the living room.

He didn't run to catch me.

He didn't try to stop me.

_Why, Benson? Why can't you love me? Why is it always her?_

* * *

><p>I ran away to my house, crying.<p>

Mom was going to her fiance's house and my dad is nowhere. I could only see Melanie who was sitting on the couch and watch TV. She heard me and she stood up. She ran to me and hugged me. I cried even louder.

"Sam? What happened? Why are you crying?" she pulled away to see my face.

"Freddie…" I sobbed.

"Why? What happened to him?"

"I saw him… kissing Carly!" I cried.

"What a… jerk!" she gasped.

"I just can't believe it… I… I…" I couldn't finish my sentence and cried again.

"Shh, shh," she hugged me, "I'm here for you, Sam."

My head felt dizzy. Everything went black then.

* * *

><p><strong>(Melanie's point of view)<strong>

I called mom and dad, informing them that Sam collapsed again. They were in their way home, and I was so worried. I had never seen Sam crying like that since the day our dad left us. It must've been very hurtful to her.

Carly had tried to call Sam, but I answered the phone because Sam was still lying on her bed. She was awake, but she said she needed a time. She didn't want to talk about this now. That's okay, I totally understood.

Carly told me about everything. About Freddie's confession, and how he suddenly kissed her. She also said that she kissed him back and she said sorry for that. She said it was a mistake.

I couldn't believe that Freddie just did that. A few years ago, he wasn't the kind of a jerk. He was very nice. I had a very good time on our date. I… I totally didn't understand why he did this to my twin sister. She deserved better than a jerk like him.

I was going to show Sam her prom dress I just bought this afternoon. But I guessed that dress could wait.

The dress was very beautiful, anyway. I was sure that the dress was perfect for Sam. I only found one dress with her size. If only I found another dress with my size, I would have bought it for myself because it was just soooo beautiful.

I hoped she'd still be going to the prom night.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: So, what do you think about this chapter? Review, review! :D - P.S : I just realized that I made a few minor mistakes here, such as the words that are spelled wrong, grammars, etc... and i'm really sorry! correct me if i'm wrong o:)  
><strong>


	7. Author's Note: Chapter 6 is coming soon!

Hey, first of all thank you very much for all the good reviews! I can't believe that my story has 17 reviews, 1,600++ hits and 550++ visitors in less than a week! I also can't believe that I have already done 6 chapters so far. (Fact: I just signed up last week!)

Thank you so much for those who appreciate my story. I'm glad that you all like it! It really made my day finding out that I got those nice reviews from you :)

And second, I'm so sorry for those who are waiting for the next chapter! I'm working on it, but unfortunately, I'm quiet busy at the moment, so this chapter will take a little longer time to be uploaded. But don't worry, it won't be that long! I swear in less than 6 or 7 days I'll finish the chapter ;p

Also, this chapter is gonna be a looong one. Here in this chapter I'll be telling you guys about Sam's illness and how she found out about it. And then she and Freddie will make up and _do something _(I'm warning you here, that this chapter will contain a "mature" scene... oh you know what i mean), but soon Freddie will make another stupid mistake that will make you all feel like kicking Freddie in a place men should never be kicked. Prom night happens here, of course. And at the very end I'll give you a liiiittle surprise. Unfortunately, it might not be the kind of surprise you're expecting :/

… and, ufff, I'm so sorry to tell you guys that this story will end after one or two more chapters, and this story will have a sad ending. But I'm thinking about writing a sequel… what do you guys think? Should I write a sequel to this story? Should I? Should I? Should I? :P

Uh, I almost forget one thing. You might have noticed that Sam is getting out of her character, right? Well, I could only say that this is caused by her illness…

Okay, I think that's all. Once again I'm realllly freaking happy and thankful for all of you who have read my first ever fan-fictional story. You guys really motivated me to write this story :-)

xo,

— T


	8. Chapter 6: iBroke The Promise

**A/N: The longest chapter I've ever written! Fuuuuh, i hope you all like it! And don't forget to give some reviews :-)**

* * *

><p><strong>(Melanie's point of view)<strong>

"Hey," I went inside Sam's bedroom. She was just sitting on her bed, with her head looking outside the window on her left. She turned her head to face me and smiled.

"Hey. Come here."

I sat on her bed. "Sam?"

"Yeah?"

"Are you still going to the prom?" I asked her carefully.

She sighed. "I don't know."

"Well… in case you're still going, I've bought the dress for you."

She looked surprised, "What? Are you serious?"

I smiled, "Yeah. Wait here, I'll be back." I ran to my bedroom to take the dress and went back to Sam's bedroom. Before I got in, I yelled from the outside, "Close your eyes!"

"Okay, okay."

I walked inside, "Now you can open your eyes."

She opened her eyes and shortly after, her jaws dropped.

"M-melanie… it's beautiful…" She stood up and touched the dress. "Oh. My. God."

"I know," I smiled proudly.

"This is the most perfect dress I've ever seen…"

I nodded, "Iiiii knowwww…"

And then she sighed, "But I don't think I will go to the prom…"

"Sam, I got another surprise for you."

She raised her eyebrows, "What?"

I took Sam's guitar that was lying on her floor. "I wrote a song for you."

She gasped, "No way!"

"Yes way," I giggled. "You know, I've also bought a dress for myself. If you're not going with neither Freddie nor Carly, you can go with me and have some fun there—you do know that prom night happens only once in your life, right? You can surprise all your friends by bringing a person that looks very much like you until each of them have heart attack. And… if you want… we can sing this song! I know you have a talent. I've seen you singing with your guitar, just like Taylor Swift! And you did really great!"

She blushed and smiled. And then frowned. "You can sing?"

I rolled my eyes, "Of course I can! I also play piano, remember?"

"Hahaha, okay-okay. Now… sing your song!"

I took a breath and started playing the guitar. "I hope this song will make you stronger, Samantha."

"Don't you dare calling me with that name!" she yelled.

I laughed, and then started singing.

* * *

><p>On the next day, I came to Carly's apartment very early. I hoped she hadn't gone to school yet.<p>

I knocked the door, and someone opened the door. It was Freddie.

His eyes widened, "Sam?"

"No, I'm Melanie. And since you WERE her boyfriend, you should've known the differences between us, such as the way we dress, the way we do our hair, et cetera." I rolled my eyes and then looked at Carly who was standing next to a couch. "Can I come in?"

"Uhm, yes." She nodded.

"Thanks," I smiled briefly, "I'm here to inform you guys that Sam can't come to school today."

"Why?" asked Freddie.

"Maybe because you hurt her," I crossed my arms and looked at Freddie angrily, and then I looked at Carly, "Sam and I are going to help our mother with her wedding," I lied. "I'm sure Sam has told you about our mother's wedding."

"Yeah, she has," she smiled. "Look, I know Sam has told you about what happened last night. It was a mistake. I'm really sorry about Sam," she looked all guilty. She had been saying sorry for like a billion times since last night.

"It's okay, Carly. I'm not blaming you. I'm blaming the other one."

Freddie groaned, "But—"

"—I don't have time for this, Benson," I tried to sound like Sam, but I just couldn't. In fact, trying to speak like her made me wanna burst into laughter because I was such a terrible actress, "—Sam left something for you guys."

I handed Sam's letter to Freddie.

"Read it, Freddie," said Carly.

"Okay," Freddie took a deep breath and started to read, "Hey, Carly and Fredjerk—" he rolled his eyes and then continued, "—I knew you might be feeling guilty about what just happened last night," he sighed, "it's okay. I'm… fine with it?" Freddie frowned. He looked at me. "I thought she was going to kill me by pushing my body off of the 1,000,000th floor of this building!"

"Keep on reading!" Carly commanded him.

"I'm not saying that what you guys have done wasn't wrong… but let's just say I couldn't hate you for that." Again, he frowned, "How could she not hate me?" he muttered to himself, and then continued, "and Freddie, if you need to talk to me or give me some lame explanation, you can come to _our place_ after school." Once again, he frowned. "What kind of place did she mean?"

"She told me that if you really love her, you would know the place," I shrugged. "Okay, my job is done here. And you guys are almost late for school anyways."

"Oh, shoot," Carly murmured and cursed under her breath. "Thanks for coming, Melanie!"

I smiled and turned around.

"Wait!" Freddie's voice stopped me, but I didn't turn around, "tell her I'm sorry."

I opened the door and walked away as I yelled, "You better tell that by yourself!" and I closed the door.

* * *

><p><strong>(Sam's point of view)<strong>

I—somehow—sneaked out to get into Benson's fire escape and, tada, here I was. Sitting on the floor and lying my back on the wall.

I remembered Freddie told me that this place was the only place that could make him feel better. He told me that when he was upset, he always came here to clear his mind. And he was right. I felt better being here. It was like all your pain was gone. I knew it sounded stupid or cliché but it happened to me. Here, I was feeling safe and free. So relaxing.

I inhaled and exhaled deeply. I closed my eyes, and started to think about everything.

_Everything. _My life had changed.

It all started when my dad suddenly appeared. I was so surprised to see him. I've missed him so much that I couldn't even describe how much I missed him. And then came Melanie.

I admitted that I had hated Melanie so much. I didn't know how or why I hate her. I just knew that she was perfect. We were identical twins but she was better than me. In every ways. I might be jealous of what she had had in her life. She was so damn smart that she got a scholarship to go to a fancy boarding school somewhere in New York. And I might have forgotten to add that she took "special classes" where she only had to attend elementary school for 5 years and high school for 4 years only. I didn't know how big her brain was. As a result, at around the age of 15 or 16, she had already graduated from high school. Only God knows how perfect Melanie was.

She was 18 now, but she already had a job as an editor of a super popular teen magazine. Her life couldn't be more perfect.

Maybe that was why I hated her. I hated being compared to each other. She was perfect and I wasn't. I just hated it. But I had tried to be cool with it. And I was so dumb for hating Melanie like that. She was the best sister ever. She never hated me, whatever happened. I was so lucky to have her.

And after that, a guy came to my mother's life. Unlike any other guys she had met before, this guy was really different. He was just perfect—I couldn't even explain. He COULD change my mother! Nobody ever could change my mother's mind before. The last time(before that dude came) I tried to convince her that she needed to find a job so she could feed me, she almost hit me with a frying pan she had just used to fry a bacon. My life used to be so hard.

That guy's name was Alexander Johansson. He was a pilot, well, not a successful one but at least he got a real job. He was very, very nice. Once I had thought that he was too good to be with my mother. Well, he really was. I didn't know why he even fell in love with her. My mom had nothing but her blue eyes.

And just like that. One day I came back to school and found out that my house wasn't a mess. I didn't find any bottle of alcohol left on the floor. Usually when I got home, I could at least find some bottles of vodka and cigarettes all over the floor… but they were nowhere to be found. The floor was cleaned up and the couch was so tidy. And what shocked me the most was that I found my mother in the kitchen, cooking for my lunch and asked me about school.

Mom? Cooking for lunch? She hadn't even remembered that she had a daughter who needed food!

She had a big smile on her face while I was just standing there and frowned. And just like that, she served the lunch and talked to me. She cried and felt so sorry about the past years that she couldn't treat me right. She began trying to be a real mom then.

At the time when I found my life seemed to be as perfect as a fairytale, the nightmare came.

Around 2 months ago, that day, I was going to open my front door after doing iCarly rehearsals. I walked inside the house and started to feel dizzy.

My head felt like spinning around, it made me sick. After a few minutes feeling dizzy, I began to breathe heavily. It felt like something or someone was placing its butt right on your chest, and jumped on it. Worse than that, my bones were also aching. It was very painful, trust me.

Actually, a few days back then I also felt that my bones were very painful. But I didn't think much about it. I was just thinking that I might have been very tired and needed rest. But then I started to feel that pain again, much much much worse than that.

I screamed as the pain started to kill me slowly. I fell on the ground and screamed over and over again, hoping that the pain would stop. I cried, I couldn't take it anymore. And then I heard my mom gasped and screamed when she saw me. She knelt and hugged me as she called 911. I smelled blood from my nose and then everything went dark.

I woke up in a hospital a few days later. I wasn't really sure how long I had been there, but my mom came up with a lie when Carly and Freddie and some "friends" at school started asking why I didn't come to school. She said I was going on a vacation, visiting my dad and my sister. Carly and Freddie couldn't do iCarly without a co-host so they hired Wendy to replace me when I was gone.

That night, I woke up when I heard someone crying. I was awake, but I pretended to be asleep. I overheard a conversation from a lady and a man who were sitting on the couch, not far away from my bed.

I didn't catch the whole conversation. But I could hear some of the words that would crash my whole life and my future.

"But-but…" I heard a woman, sobbing while trying to speak. I believed it was my mom's voice, "she can't have leukemia! She never seemed to be having this awful illness. Sam is my strong girl!"

"I'm so sorry, Ms. Puckett," I heard a male voice. And then he seemed to be leaving my mom alone.

My mom was crying like crazy. She couldn't stop until hours later. And so did I. I secretly cried on my bed. I couldn't get those words off of my mind. _Leukemia, leukemia, leukemia._

I cried to know that I wouldn't have a normal life. I cried on the fact that I was dying.

I cried. I wasn't strong enough to face the truth that I had leukemia.

* * *

><p>"I knew you were here," I heard a familiar voice. I turned around and found Freddie who was standing right beside me and sit there.<p>

I smiled. I turned my head down and wiped away the tears that dropped while I was flashing back to the day when I found out about my illness. Thanks to God, Freddie didn't notice that.

"Hi, Freduardo."

Freddie sighed. "I'm sorry…"

I raised my eyebrows, "For what?"

He frowned. "For… you know… uh, kissing your best friend…" he stuttered.

"Okay."

"Okay?"

"Yeah."

"Yeah?" he shook his head in disbelief.

"What? Do you want me to push you off of this building?"

"I thought so…" he muttered. "I mean… how can you be so… calm? You really aren't mad at me at all?"

"Well, I was mad. But I cannot hate you. Or Carly. I don't wanna hate anyone."

He raised his eyebrows, "Says a former bully in my school who used to make a shirtless potato run across the hall, crying."

"Shut up, Freddemon," I pushed his arms jokingly, but hard enough to make him groan.

"I thought you were the demon one," he murmured and rubbed his arm.

I ignored that. If only he said that 3 months ago I would have kicked him so hard on his you-know-what, "I just want you to be honest."

"Hm?"

"Do you love me? Do you love Carly?"

He sighed. "I don't know."

My heart broke into pieces. But I tried to stay cool. "You can't love two person at the same time. Carly and I are best friends. You have to stop being a jerk."

He turned his head down.

"Have you really stopped loving Carly?" I whispered.

"I don't know, Sam," he bit his lips, "but I swear I'll try to forget my feelings for her."

"Why?"

"Because I know I love you. It's true. I love you, I really do. But the only problem is that I still think I have a crush on Carly…" he stopped talking for a while, "I am so confused."

I took a deep breath, "You swear you'll try to love me completely and forget your damn crush on her?"

"I swear."

"You promise you won't do _that_ anymore?"

"I promise."

I looked straight at his eyes, "Can I trust you, Benson?" I said in a serious tone.

For a moment, none of us were speaking. And then he broke the silence, "Yes, you can, Puckett."

It was raining and so cold. I shuddered. I hugged myself.

"You feelin' cold?" Freddie asked me.

"Yeah, kinda."

He took of his jacket and he put it on my body.

We smiled. I laid my head on his shoulder, but then I moved and rested my head on his chest. I hugged his waist. He kissed my hair and then I pulled away. I looked at his eyes, deeply inside his brown eyes.

Slowly, he pressed my lips on mine. I put my right hand on the back of his head and began squeezing his hair. We move closer and he put his hands on my cheeks, grabbing it so he could kiss me more deeply. The only thing that came to my mind was his lips and what a good kisser he was.

_I will trust you, Freddie. Please, don't make me regret it._

* * *

><p>I knocked Shay's front door. Usually, I just got in there without knocking.<p>

Carly opened the door and gasped. "Sam!"

"Carleh," I grinned.

"I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have let him kiss me. I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry," she cried and said sorry over and over again.

"It's okay, Carly. You're forgiven."

"Really?" her eyes wide opened.

I nodded, and she hugged me tightly, "Thank you so much, Sam!"

"Mm-hm." I pulled away. "So, we're still gonna do iCarly tonight, right?"

"Of course we are!"

And then Freddie opened his front door with a big smile in the face and a huge suitcase in the right hand. His mom was standing beside him.

"Freddie-bear, are you sure you're gonna be okay while I'm gone?" she said in a worried tone.

Freddie sighed, but he still smiled, "Don't worry, mom. I'll be okay!"

"Are you sure? Oh, don't forget about your tick bath! And I've bought some new anti-bacterial underwears for—"

"Moooooooom!" Freddie yelled desperately.

Mrs. Benson sighed, "Okay. I love you, Freddie-bear."

Freddie turned his head down and glanced at me and Carly, "Love you too, Mom," he murmured.

I scoffed. Carly tried so hard not to laugh or smile.

"Goodbye, honey," Mrs. Benson kissed her son's cheek over and over again.

"Mom-mom, that's enough. Okay… MOM! Stop it."

Carly and I went inside her apartment and we laughed so hard. A while later Freddie knocked the door and came in.

"Whaddup with that crazy woman?" I asked him.

"She's not crazy!—well, a bit," he rolled his eyes, "she's going to California to attend her high school reunion. For the whole week, because she's gonna visit a lot of her old friends there."

"Wow. Your mom used to live there?" says Carly.

"Yep."

I grinned, "So, that means you're alone in your apartment?"

"Uh-uh," he nodded.

"Can I stay at your apartment tonight?" I asked Freddie. Carly turned her head and looked at me.

Freddie smiled. "Of course you can."

"Wait—what are you two gonna do in Freddie's apartment?"

Freddie and I shrugged. "I don't know…"

Carly rolled her eyes and turned around to see Spencer, messing around in the kitchen. "What are you doing?"

Spencer raised a mug and drink something inside the mug, "Drinking my cereal."

Carly, Freddie and I frowned. "Drinking… your cereal?" said Freddie.

"Uh-uh. I literally drink this cereal. See, I—"

The three of us walked to the stairs, leaving Spencer before he finished talking. "Later!" I shouted.

* * *

><p>"And that is why we cannot use soy sauce as a shampoo," said Carly to the camera.<p>

I stepped closer to the camera and whispered, "You don't wanna have that sticky hair like Gibby's, right?"

Freddie moved his camera to shoot Gibby, who was shirtless as usual, and was touching his sticky hair with a weird look on his face. "WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY HAIR? AAAAGH! MOM!" he ran out of the studio. Shirtless. With sticky and smelly head.

"Ew." "Yuck." Carly and I said in unison as we shook our heads and our shoulders.

"Well, that's all for tonight," I said, and pressed a button on my remote. "Booo!"

"But don't worry, next week we will be…"

"Messin' With Lewbert!"

We laughed. "See you next week!"

"And we're clear!" Freddie yelled. We high-fived.

"Fuuuh, what a night," I sighed, suddenly I felt so tired.

Carly looked outside the studio and then looked at us, "Where's Gibby?"

Me and Freddie shared a glance, and we shrugged.

"He's weird."

"Yeah, he's just a Gibby."

"So," Carly took a breath, "what are you guys going to do tonight?"

"I think I'm gonna stay at Freddie's," I grinned.

"Okay then. I'm going to Groovy Smoothies. Nate wants to meet me there to talk about prom," she smiled. "Anyways, have you already bought a dress, Sam?"

"Yeah," I nodded.

"Is it beautiful? Tell me! Tell me!"

"I cannot tell ya," I smirked. "But you will be surprised. I promise."

"I cannot wait to see it!" Carly jumped, I just rolled my eyes. "OK, guys. I'm going to take a shower. You can go if you want."

Freddie and I nodded, and then we walked to his apartment.

"So, what are we gonna do in my place?" asked Freddie. He closed the front door.

"I don't know… spend the night together. Just the two of us."

He smiled and kissed my forehead. He put his left arm around my neck and shoulder and he dragged me to his room.

I raised an eyebrow. "Wow. Galaxy Wars all over the room."

The walls, the bed & pillow sheets, the doormat, the… everything. Freddie giggled.

"You're such a dork, you know that."

"I do know that."

I pulled away and jumped to his comfy bed. I laid there. "Other than the stupid bedsheet, this bed is so cool."

"What do you mean by 'cool'?" Freddie jumped to the bed and laid his body right beside me.

"Soooo comfortable. I wanna sleep on here all night," I answered.

"So… I guess I'm just gonna spend the night sleeping on the floor. Or on the couch. Or in my mom's bedroom."

"Nooo," I chuckled. "I meant, with you. Here. All night," I whispered my last word. "Yeah, if you want—"

He grinned and turned his head to face me. He leaned his head forward and kissed my lips before I could finish my sentence. I kissed him back. He grabbed my cheeks with his warm hands as I also grabbed his neck. Slowly, he moved his body and suddenly he was on top of my body.

Before he did anything, he turned off the table lamp beside the bed so the room was now dark.

I moved my hands from his neck and put them on his chest. I unbuttoned his blue shirt and took it off his body. He responded by unbuttoning my shirt. And he grabbed my bra off of my chest and threw it away. He kissed my neck over and over. And he moved his lips to mine, and then my cheek, my nose, my eyes, my forehead, all over my face.

Before we took off our pants, he stopped kissing.

"Are you sure we're gonna do this tonight?"

I nodded. "Yes. I am so sure."

And… you know the rest.

1:56 a.m in the midnight… or morning. We had already put on our clothes-but Freddie was still shirtless. And now we both were lying on the bed, covered by his Galaxy Wars blanket. Eventhough the blanket was stupid, but I loved to be under this blanket with him.

The only thing that I could hear was our breathings. Inhale, exhale. Inhale, exhale.

I turned my body and put my head on his shoulder. My hand was rested on his bare chest.

"Freddie?" I murmured.

"Hm?"

I kissed his neck.

1:58 a.m.

"I love you, Princess Puckett," he whispered to my ears, so nobody could hear but us.

I closed my eyes and smiled. "I love you too, Fredweird Benson."

He got up and sat on the bed. I groaned and rose. I leaned my head on his shoulder. He turned on the table lamp and turned his head to look at me.

He frowned. "Sam? Are you okay?"

"Yeah, why?"

He touched my cheek, "You look so pale."

"Oh. M-maybe I'm just… tired," I hugged him, "you don't have to worry."

He leaned down and kissed my lips softly. And then, we both fell asleep.

* * *

><p><strong>(Carly's POV)<strong>

Time flew so fast. I couldn't believe that prom night was coming in 2 days.

I had prepared everything. I had bought a beautiful long dress and the heels. I had booked the limo. I had prepared everything. I was so sure that the prom night would be perfect!

Nate wasn't my boyfriend… yet. But he was so nice. I loved everything in him. His blonde curly hair, his cute lips, his green eyes, the way he held my hands, the way he kissed my cheek, the way he walked, the way he talked… everything. He was perfect for me. He was everything I had wanted.

He said he had already bought tuxedo and the corsage. I really was excited for prom.

_I'm freaking out!_

* * *

><p>"Carly."<p>

I heard a familiar voice, calling my name. I turned around after I closed my locker. "Oh, hi, Freddie. What's up?"

"I… uh," he looked nervous. Oh, no. was he going to do another stupid thing that would break my best friend's heart?

"What."

He looked down. "You can call me a jerk. I deserve the name."

"Just spit it out!" I crossed my hands.

"I've promised _her _to forget about my feelings about you."

"And then?" I raised an eyebrow.

"I can't."

"What. The. Hell?" I cursed. "What do you mean you can't?"

He groaned. He looked depressed, but I still didn't care. I gave him my angry look.

* * *

><p><strong>(Freddie's POV)<strong>

I groaned. Carly cursed! She only curse when she's all fucking angry or upset or mad.

"I can't, Carly! It's… it's hard! I love her, but I still like you. I can't get rid of that fucking feeling! Can you just understand?"

"I can't understand why you can't just forget about me! I will NEVER love you, Freddie! Why can't you just MOVE ON?" her face was red and I could feel anger from her gesture.

"So… you still like Carly, huh?" I heard a voice behind me. I turned around and I almost died.

Before I died, Carly grabbed my shoulder to turn my body around and she slapped me in the face. Hard. And then she pushed my body until I hit a locker behind me and she left me. With my blond demon.

I put a hand on my burning cheek and turned around. My blond demon was looking at me, forcing a smile on her face.

"Sam… I—"

"It's okay, Freddick. I get it. You promised and you broke it."

"Sam—"

She whispered. "You know what? I trusted you, nub. With all my heart. I just can't believe I did that. I guess we're now done."

"I'm sorry—"

"No, no. it's not your fault at all. It was mine because I trusted you. I believed you. I thought you were really trying to change. I was so dumb and idiot and stupid and…" she didn't continue her words and she just shook her head. She turned around and walked away.

"Sam!" I screamed and chased her.

She stopped walking and turned around. She murmured, "I trusted you, Fredward. I had sex with you. I lost my virginity to you. And you still don't have anything for me. You didn't even love me. You didn't even mean it."

"No, I love—"

"Stop giving me lies! I'm so fed up," she turned her head down but she didn't leave. She sobbed. She cried.

I stepped forwards and whispered in her ear, "I'm sorry, Sam." I caressed her golden hair. I love you."

She wiped her tears. "No, you don't. And I'm okay with it." She pulled away, lifted her head and smiled. "Thanks for everything, Fredwina." She lifted and kissed my cheek.

And she left.

I really hated myself. But I never wanted to lie.

_I lost her_.

* * *

><p><strong>(Sam's POV)<strong>

I had every reason to hate Fredward Fucking Benson. But I couldn't hate him.

I just didn't want to. I didn't want to die hating someone. I wanted to die, rested in peace. Without hatred, just love.

I loved him. He didn't love me, and it wasn't his fault.

My guitar was lying in the corner of my bedroom, as usual. I took it and started to play.

A few days ago, Melanie told me that she secretly began writing songs since the day my dad left. Which meant since she was little. She said writing song was good for her. It helped her to be stronger. It made her feel better.

Maybe the same feeling Freddie felt when he went to the fire escape.

Ah, _Freddie_.

I took a book and a pencil, and I played my guitar.

I played my guitar, and sang, and wrote down all the words I wanted to scream.

Melanie was right. It did make me feel better.

* * *

><p><strong>(Carly's POV)<strong>

I opened my front door and the dark-haired jerk was standing in front of me. "What do you want."

He sighed. "Carly…"

"I hate you. I hate you so much, Freddie," I shook my head, but I let him walked into my apartment.

"You don't know how it feels, Carly. Trust me. It's not that easy."

I cried. "You hurt Sam. You hurt Sam!"

"I know."

"Why do you do this to her, Freddie? Why?"

"Carly," he sighed. "I love her. I really, really love her."

"And then why—"

He cut my words, "It doesn't mean I don't love her. I just can't get you off of my head. But I love her. Trust. Me."

"How can I trust you…?"

"Please, please just trust me. I never wanted to hurt her I swear."

I sighed. I knew Freddie. I knew he wasn't lying. I knew he really loved Sam. But why on the earth did he do this to Sam?

"Okay. I trust you," I murmured.

"Really? Thanks a lot, Carly!"

"Sure, whatever." I rolled my eyes.

"Carls?"

"Huh?"

"What is wrong with Sam?" he suddenly asked me.

"What do you mean?" I frowned.

"I mean," he bit his lips, "I came to her to say sorry. And she forgave me, just like that. She broke me up, but she didn't seem to be mad. She said it wasn't my fault. She said she was okay with it."

We stayed quiet. Soon, he broke the silence.

"It doesn't mean I want her to hate me. But I deserve the hatred, don't i?"

I sighed. I didn't know what to say. "Maybe that's because she really loves you?"

Freddie shrugged. "No, no way. I really am a jerk."

* * *

><p><strong>(Melanie's POV)<strong>

Sam had told me everything.

I hated Freddie, more than anything. But Sam said she didn't hate Freddie at all. How could she… uh. Sam was weird.

Sam walked inside my room. "Melanie. You gotta help me."

"What?" I stood up.

"Prom. Tonight is the night!"

I frowned. "Wait… you're still going?"

"Of course I am!" she smiled. What…

"Uh… okay…. What can I help you?"

Sam smiled. "Dress me up. Help me get my hair & make up done. Everything!"

"Sure!"

"But wait… Mama needs ham."

We laughed and walked to the kitchen. Sam opened the fridge and took some ham, but then she suddenly fell on the ground and screamed.

"Sam? What's wrong? MOM! MOM!" I knelt on the floor and hugged Sam.

"I-I'm… hurt… ARGH!"

"Sammie?" my mom ran and pulled Sam away from me. "What happened to her?"

"She… she was going to eat ham and she suddenly screamed and fell…" I stuttered.

Mom took her phone from her pocket and handed it to me, "Call 911! Or your dad!"

"NO!" Sam cried. "I… I wanna go to the prom!"

"But you can't, Sam!" I cried. I couldn't see her like this. It also killed me.

"Please…" she cried.

"Sam, you're going to London. We will find a way to get you recovered," Mom hugged her. "Now let Mel call your dad."

"But…" she pulled away and tried to stand up, "I don't want to go…"

"Sam…"

"Okay. I'll go. But in one condition," she wiped her tears and closed her eyes. It seemed that the pain slowly faded away.

Mom and I nodded. Sam took a very deep breath before she speak.

"I will go to London if you let me go to prom tonight."

Mom cried, "But, Sam—"

"—if you don't let me go to the prom, i… I will…" she took a knife on the kitchen table, "I will stab myself with this knife."

Mom sighed. "Okay, okay, Sammie. You can go to prom tonight. I'll call your dad and I'll find the soonest flight to London," she caressed Sam's hair, "but now, please put that knife down."

Sam nodded and put the knife down. I hugged her. "Now, let's get dressed, okay?"

It hurt to see her like this. It really hurt me.

* * *

><p><strong>(Sam's POV)<strong>

I felt much better than hours ago.

So, I finally had to leave Seattle. I was gonna leave my friends. I was gonna leave iCarly. I was gonna leave school before I graduate. My life was ended. But at least, tonight I could have fun.

I looked at the mirror. I stared at someone's reflection. My reflection.

I looked _beautiful_. I felt _beautiful._

_Am I beautiful?_

Someone knocked my door and it was my mom.

"Sam," she whispered.

"Mm?"

"I'm so sorry. But I could only find one flight to London."

"When is it?"

"Tonight. 11 p.m." she sighed.

I closed my eyes. "Okay."

"Are you sure, honey?"

I forced a smile, "Yeah, I am. At least I still can come to the prom night and have some fun before I leave."

She walked inside my room and hugged me. She kissed my forehead. "Hey, you look beautiful."

I laughed, "Thanks."

She pulled away. "Okay, then. Have fun."

I nodded. "I will."

* * *

><p>I knocked Shay's front door.<p>

Carly opened the door and she was shocked to see me wearing my prom dress. She also was wearing her beautiful pink long-dress. She looked stunning.

"Sam?"

"Hi."

"You're going to prom?"

I smirked. "Prom happens once in my life. So, here I am!"

She hugged me so tight and then pulled away. "Come in!"

I walked inside her living room and found out that Freddie was also there, wearing his tuxedo. Gorgeous.

I smiled at him, "Hi."

"H-hi." He awkwardly smiled. "I didn't know you were still going."

"Yeah," I chuckled, "so, where's my corsage?" I smirked.

"Uh, wait here," he smiled and walked to his apartment. A few minutes later, he came back and put a beautiful corsage on my wrist.

"This is beautiful."

"Just like you," he whispered.

I chuckled, and then I looked at Carly. "Melanie is coming too."

Carly's eyes widened, "Wow! That would be so cool."

"Yeah, she will surprise everyone."

"Come on! The limo's waiting for us. Nate is already on his way," Carly smiled.

"Wait!" Spencer yelled from the stairs. "I need to take some pictures. You all look great tonight!"

"Thanks!" we all laughed.

"Okay. Say cheese!"

_Click_. The picture was taken. The memories last forever.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: So, what do you think about this chapter? Well, actually I planned to write the prom here, but i guess the chapter is way tooooo long :/ Okay then. Review! Review! :)**


	9. Chapter 7: iProm Night

**(Freddie's POV)**

I was surprised that Sam was still going to the prom. And she was still going with me, as a date.

I couldn't believe that Sam seemed so cool with every shit I had done to her. She could've killed me, seriously. What I had done to her was stupid, and immature, and I was such a jerk.

How could she not hate me?

Spencer just took our picture. Sam, Freddie (me), and Carly. After that, we hugged Spencer and Carly opened the door.

"Melanie?" Carly gasped. "Oh, Gosh. You look beautiful."

"Thanks," said Melanie. "Can I come with you guys?"

"Of course you can! We already booked a limo and it's waiting for us, come on!"

Sam stepped forward. Melanie was with someone else. I bet he was around 40 or 50 years old. "Guys, this is our dad."

Me and Carly's jaws dropped. We had never met Mr. Puckett. Sam had never mentioned him, except when she was talking about his disappearance. Even Carly didn't know that Mr. Puckett was still alive.

"I'm Carly Shay. Uhm, nice to meet you, Sir," Carly smiled at Mr. Puckett.

"Just call me Frank," Frank Puckett smiled. "And you must be Fredward Benson," he looked at me.

I smiled and shook his hand, "Freddie. You can call me Freddie."

"Or Frednub," Sam added. I rolled my eyes as everybody laughed.

Frank left after he hugged Sam and kissed Melanie's forehead. As soon as he left, Sam, Carly, Melanie and I left the building and get into the limo.

The limo was cool. Enough said.

We arrived at the hotel half an hour later. Everybody was already there.

Let's have fun.

* * *

><p>Everyone was dancing around. Sam was gone.<p>

"Hey, Carly. CARLY!"

"WHAT?" she yelled.

"Where's Sam and Melanie?"

"WHAT? I CAN'T HEAR YOU!" she yelled again. I moved closer to her ears.

"DID YOU SEE SAM? AND MELANIE?"

"Oh, no. I thought she was with you."

I shrugged. And then the DJ suddenly stopped the music.

"Hey guys!" someone was talking on the microphone. Wait… was that Sam? Why was she holding a guitar?

"You guys havin' fun tonight?" she asked.

"Yeah!" everyone screamed and shouted.

"Well… do you mind if me and my twin sister Melanie—"

"WHAAAT?" everyone's eyes widened. "TWIN SISTER?"

"—sing a song for all of you here?" Sam continued.

Everyone nodded, even though they were still unsure about Sam's twin sister. They might be thinking that this was just another Sam's pranks…

"Come here, Melanie!"

Melanie came on the stage and everyone was shocked. They all gasped. "SAM HAS A TWIN SISTER? WOAH!" yelled the shirtless Gibby. It seemed that Melanie was going to play piano.

"Okay, this song is called Stronger. I hope you all enjoy this song!" she smiled and started playing her guitar. **(A/N: the song is Stronger by Jennette McCurdy :P)**

_You feel out of breath, used up, and broken down_

_Just like shattered glass in pieces on the ground._

_Some days you wanna scream, but you can't make make a sound_

_But you're not alone_

_Here comes another day, here comes another fight_

_You'd rather give it up, than give it one more try_

_'Cause no one understands the way you feel inside_

_But you're not alone_

_Right now it feels like the end of the world_

_All your battles are lost_

_You've been cheated, mistreated_

_Just when you think that you can't hold on any longer_

_Hold on a little bit longer, trust me, you'll see_

_You'll be so much stronger…  
><em>

Sam and Melanie sang together. I never realized that Sam had a talent! She did very great. Her voice was beautiful. The song was amazing.

When they finished the song. Everyone gave a huge applause for them. Yeah, they deserved it!

"Thank you guys! Have a great night!"

* * *

><p>Sam was sitting on a chair. She had just done eating a lot of spaghetti meatballs and now she was drinking orange juice. After that, she took kleenex from her purse and cleaned the spaghetti sauce on her lips.<p>

She wasn't Sam if she didn't eat.

Carly was having fun with Nate. They were dancing and talking to some people out there. They seemed so happy…

I walked closer to Sam. "Hey."

"Hey."

"You wanna dance?"

She groaned. "I can't dance."

"No, you lied. You danced in that beauty pageant competition thingy."

She chuckled. I grabbed her wrists and pulled her so she stood up.

Suddenly, the DJ changed the song. Now, Running Away was playing.

_Did I tell you I knew your name?_

_But it seems that I've lost it_

She put her hands around my neck and I hugged her waist. I smiled. "See? You're dancing with me."

"Yeah, slow-dancing."

_Did I tell you it's my own game?_

_This is not your problem_

"Hey, I didn't know you had such a beautiful voice."

She smiled. "Thanks."

"Seriously, your performance was amazing! The song was amazing. You guys were amazing."

She shrugged. "Thanks to Melanie. She wrote that song."

"Wow."

"I know."

_I don't know if I'm gonna change_

_Wasting time and another day_

We kept dancing. It felt so nice hugging her. I didn't wanna lose her, though, I had already lost her.

"Sam," I whispered.

"Yeah?"

_I keep running away_

_Even from the good things_

"I apologize. For everything."

She smiled, "Have I not told you that it's okay?"

I sighed. "Sam…"

"I'm serious, Freddork," she giggled, "I'm okay. It wasn't your fault that you couldn't love me."

_But I love you, Sam. I really do._

_Did I tell you it's not that bad?_

_Sitting over here, dreaming_

"Who would love a bully like me anyways," she chuckled.

_I would_.

_Did I tell you I'm right on track?_

_This time, I mean it_

"I would," I murmured.

She chuckled, and shook her head. "You're a dork."

_I keep running away_

_Even from the good things…_

The song ended. Principal Franklin took the microphone.

"Okay, now it's time to announce the Prom King & Queen and the Prom Prince & Princesses."

Everyone shouted in excitement. Mr Franklin opened the envelope that he was holding.

"This year's Prom Prince and Princess is…" the drums rolled. "Nate Stewart and Carly Shay!"

They both looked shocked, but they walked to the stage to be crowned. Everyone clapped their hands.

"Congratulations for the two of you," said Mr. Franklin. "And now, this years Prom King and Queen is…"

He opened another enveloped and frowned, but then smiled, "Fredward Benson…"

What. I was the Prom King…?

Everyone looked at me and they shouted and clapped. Gibby took off his tuxedo and yelled, "NERD'S RULE!"

I smirked at him.

"And…" Mr. Franklin took a deep breath and smiled, "Samantha Puckett!"

Sam, who was standing beside me, gasped and yelled, "OH MY GOD! WE'RE THE PROM KING AND QUEEN! OH GOD. OH GOD!" We briefly hugged.

After Mr Franklin put the crowns on our heads, he let us to leave the stage and slow danced.

"This is amazing," Sam still smiled. She couldn't believe this. Me either.

"I know. Unbelievable."

"I mean… you're a nub! There's no way you could be the Prom King. And I am… Sam." We laughed.

We danced again. "Thanks for tonight, Freddifer." She hugged me.

I just smiled and hugged her tighter.

Sam looked at her watch and gasped.

"What's wrong, Sam?"

"Uh, nothing." She pulled away. "Freddie, i—I need to go."

"Where?" I frowned.

"Uh, somewhere." She bit her lips. "Look, I need to find Melanie. If Carly's looking for me, tell her I'm going home. And tell her I love her."

I frowned. "What? But prom is not over yet—"

"—I have to go," she gulped. Her eyes were watery.

"Okay. Why are you crying, Sam?"

"I'm not crying." She smiled. "Freddie?"

"Yeah?"

"Can i… kiss your cheek?"

I raised an eyebrow. "Of course you can."

She stood on her toes and kissed my cheek. "Goodbye." She walked away.

"Wait!" I stopped her. She turned around. "Why are you saying goodbye?"

She smiled nervously, "I meant… good night, Fredward."

"Night, Samantha."

And she left the prom night.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Okay... I'm so sorry if this chapter is too short. I have never gone to a prom before, so... I don't really know what people usually do in a prom -_- anyways, here's their dresses and tuxedos:**

Carly: www fashion-magz com/ wp-content/ uploads/ 2011/ 03/89d73_gowns_PromDressesCamilleLaVie1-575x846 jpg**(the pink one)**

Sam: www amaramedia com/ wp-content/ uploads/ 2010/ 10/ short-prom-dresses-12 jpg

Melanie: www amaramedia com/ wp-content/ uploads/ 2010/ 09/ short-white-prom-dresses-1 jpg

Freddie: www thebrend com/ trendfashion/ wp-content/ uploads/ 2011/ 06/ your-prom-night-memory-and-tuxedo-you-wear-will-become-precious-memories-for-the-rest-of-your-life-let-your-prom-tuxedo-colors-reflect-your-own-style-and-personality-3 jpg

Nate (Carly's future boyfriend :P): www fashion-magz com/ wp-content/ uploads/ 2011/ 03/ 5c83f_gowns_PromTuxedoWhite-575x478 jpg

Hope you guys liked the chapter! Review, review! :-D


	10. Chapter 8: iLast Kiss

**(Freddie's POV)**

I couldn't stop thinking about last night, and how Sam suddenly left.

Where'd she gone? Why'd she said "goodbye" instead of "good night"? Why'd her suddenly kissed my cheek?

I tried to call Sam, but her phone was dead. I sent messages and e-mails, but failed. I tweeted her, but then I realized that she had deleted her account. And also her SplashFace account was dead. What… why?

I closed my eyes and I took a deep breath. Maybe Carly knew why. Maybe she knew the answer. Or maybe Sam was there in our studio.

I walked into Shay's apartment and found Spencer who was watching Celebrities Undewater.

"Hi, Spence. Where's Carly?" I asked him.

"She's upstairs."

"Oh, okay. Thanks."

He nodded. I walked upstairs, to our studio. I opened the door and Carly was standing alone. Our studio was a mess. It seemed that Carly was putting everything into a giant box. She even had taken off the iCarly sticker on the door. Wait… was she re-decorating our studio? Or…

"Carly? What's with our studio? Why—"

She turned around. Her face was all puffy and red. "This place is no longer our studio, Freddie. There's no more iCarly. We're cancelling the webshow. You can take back all your equipments." Her voice was shaky.

"What do you mean? Where's Sam? Did she know about all of this?"

Carly didn't answer. Instead, she cried.

"Why are you crying? I don't understand. Please just tell me what happened!"

"Sam's gone, Freddie! She left Seattle, for good!"

I couldn't help but yelled. "WHAT?"

"She left us. She left Seattle. She left iCarly. We can't do it without her. I'm cancelling the webshow," she sobbed.

"Why? Why did she leave?" I almost cried.

"I don't know. She didn't tell me anything," she cried, "but her mom left this on my front door last night." She gave me an A4 sized envelope. "It's for you."

I took the envelope and started to laugh, "No, no. this is just a joke, isn't it? This isn't funny, guys."

"THIS IS NOT A JOKE, FREDDIE!" she screamed. The tears ran down on her cheeks. "She left us!"

I shook my head and ran away.

I ran, I just ran. I didn't know where I was going. I just ran until I couldn't feel my feet.

I stopped, right in front of her house.

It's empty.

No one's there.

Sam was gone.

_Gone._

* * *

><p>I locked my room. My mom yelled and screamed and shouted, asking me to open the door. But I didn't.<p>

"Leave me alone, mom!"

10 minutes later, she finally gave up.

I wiped my tears away. I couldn't stop it. I couldn't stop crying. She left Seattle, and I had no idea where she was.

She just disappeared. And it frustrated me.

I opened the envelope that Carly gave me this afternoon. I found a letter and a flashdisk inside. I read the letter. 

* * *

><p><em>Fredward Benson,<em>

_I know you're upset because I left. Yeah, you should be. Anyways, I'm not gonna tell you why I left. I'm just gonna say sorry because I never told you and Carly that I'm leaving._

_Yeah, true, nub. I'm leaving. And I'm not coming back. Ever. And don't you ever dare to find me. I didn't want to leave you, but I had to. I have a reason why, but I couldn't tell you. Or even Carly._

_I'm sorry that I left. I'm sorry that I ruined iCarly. I'm sorry that I ruined our plan to go to the college together. I'm sorry that I ruined everything. But I have to go, I just have to. I couldn't stay here. Because it (literally) is painful to be here._

_And, thanks for everything, Frednerd. Thanks for all the memories, I will never forget you. I will never forget our friendship, and iCarly. Thanks for the days we've spent together. Thanks for letting me punch your arms, hit your head, slap your face, etc, etc, etc. Thanks for letting me call you names. Thanks for the first kiss we've shared at the fire escape. Thanks for being in my life. Thanks for everything. Everything._

_I love you, Benson. I really do. I can't tell you how much I love you, after all you've done to me, after all shits that ever happened… I cannot hate you. I still love you, and I want you to know that I will love you forever, Fredalupe. Whatever happens. Although you'll never love me back, it won't change the fact that I will love you until the last beat of my heart. It sounds cheesy, eh? But it's, somehow, true._

_I will miss you so much, dork. I hope you'll be fine._

_Sam Puckett._

_P.S: Hook the flashdisk up your laptop. I recorded a video a while ago, right before I left Seattle. I wrote that song by myself, btw._

* * *

><p>A drop of my tear had just hit the letter. I took the flashdisk and hook it up on my laptop.<p>

I found a video of her. I clicked "Play", and I could see her, holding her guitar, _sang_.

She began to play the guitar. A few seconds later, she started to sing.

_**I still remember the look on your face**_

_**Lit through the darkness at 1:58**_

_**The words that you whispered for just us to know**_

_**You told me you loved me,**_

_**So why did you go away?**_

I froze. That night…

I felt another drop of tear running down my cheek.

_**I do recall now, the smell of the rain**_

_**Fresh on the pavement, I ran off the plane**_

_**That July 9th **_(A/N: It's July 9th, btw!)_**, the beat of your heart**_

_**It jumps through your shirt,**_

_**I can still feel your arms**_

I missed her.

_**I do remember the swing of your step**_

_**The life of the party, you're showing off again**_

_**And I'd roll my eyes and then you'd pull me in**_

_**I'm not much for dancing, but for you I did**_

The prom, last night.

_**Because I loved your handshake, meeting my father**_

_**I loved how you walked with your hands in your pocket**_

_**And how you'd kissed me when I was in the middle of saying something**_

_**There's not a day I don't miss those rude interruptions…**_

Oh, Sam. I couldn't believe she wrote this song…

_**So I'll watch your life in pictures like I used to watch you sleep**_

_**And I feel you forget me like I used to feel you breathe**_

_**And I'll keep up with our old friends just to ask them how you are…**_

_I will never forget you, Sam. I swear._

_**Hope it's nice where you are.**_

_It won't be nice without you!_

_**And I hope the sun shines,**_

_**And it's a beautiful day**_

_**And something reminds you,**_

_**You'd wish you had stayed**_

_Of course I do. I wish I had stayed in your arms, Sam. I wish I had never broken my promises. I wish I had never hurt you. I wish I had realized that you were the only one for me. I wish I had never fallen for her…_

_**You can plan for a change in weather and time,**_

_**But I never planned on you changing your mind**_

I cried. I saw her smiling in the video. Tears falling down her cheek, and she continued singing.

_**So, I'll go sit on the floor wearing your clothes**_

_**All that I know is I don't know how to be something you miss**_

_Sam… I will miss you forever._

_**I never thought we'd have a last kiss**_

_**I never imagined we'd end like this**_

_**Your name, forever the name on my lips**_

_**Just like our last kiss…**_

I closed my laptop and jumped into my bed. The bed where Sam and I had spent a night together, losing our virginity.

I cried myself to sleep. She had just left for a day, but it seemed like a year.

I missed her, so much. 

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Love this or hate this? Review!**

**BTW, the song is "Last Kiss" by Taylor Swift. And yes, I am her big fan :P**

**Sadly, I had to tell you that this is the last chapter. I will update an Epilogue chapter soon, though ._. Anywaaaaaaaays... should I write a sequel to this story? :D :D :D :D**

**REVIEW!**


	11. Epilogue: iRegret & sequel sneak peek

He regrets.

He will never forgive himself.

There is nothing he can do but to regret.

Days have gone and years have passed, but the memories are still burning in his mind. He still hates himself that he made her hurt. He hates himself for being such an asshole.

At the end, he finally realizes that he loves her. Which is stupid because she's already gone. And all he can do is to regret everything he has done to her. Nothing more, nothing less.

He still keeps that video she gave him with the _goodbye letter_. Every once in a while, he will watch that video and just cry all night like a child. Or he will get himself as drunk as possible. He will let the pain hurt him over and over again. He thinks he deserves it. He really does.

He only has three wishes.

He only wants three things to happen.

He wants to see her, just once more. He wants to tell her he really loves her. He wants her to know that he wants her to stay.

Or if he could only wish for one thing, here's his wish:

He wishes he could turn back the time, and he swears he will never does the same shit again.

_And if we loved again, I swear I'd love you right._

_I'd go back in time and change it, but I can't._

_So if the chain is on your door, I understand._

* * *

><p>It's been 5 years since Sam left.<p>

5 years since iCarly was cancelled.

5 years since both Freddie and Carly got so depressed after losing their best friend, and they ended up arguing and breaking their friendship.

5 years since Freddie finally decided to move to New York and pursue his dream as a movie director.

5 years since Carly moved to Paris to begin a new life and left Spencer who was still unmarried and alone.

5 years since all their lives became messed up.

And it all started from one tiny little thing:

A regret.

Carly regrets that she once let Freddie kiss her. Freddie regrets that he couldn't love Sam compeletely.

Though, they wouldn't change anything.

They both didn't know that even though Carly never let Freddie kiss her and Freddie never fell in love with Carly, Sam would never stay. It's not their mistake that she's now gone. They never know, that they should have never blamed theirselves. They never realize, that they could do nothing to make Sam stay.

But now, they're separated. Their friendship is gone because of the guilt they felt after Sam's disappearance.

_I miss her._

_I miss her too.  
><em>

* * *

><p>Fredward has just arrived in London two days ago. He and his crews are preparing for their next movie project which will be shot here in London.<p>

He walks outside the building, looking for fresh air. He needs to breathe more deeply.

_London is beautiful_, he tells himself.

His phone suddenly yells. He looks at the screen and answers the call.

"Hello?" says a familiar voice he has never heard in ages.

Fredward gasps. He knows this voice too well. He whispers in shock.

"Carly Shay?"

_**to be continued.**_

* * *

><p><strong>AN: So, here's the epilogue of my first ever fan-fic Seddie story :D and yeah, cliffhanger :P I'm currently working on the sequel, don't worry. I'm updating soon, I promise! And i promise that Freddie&Carly will find out about Sam's illness... but i have to say that they're quiet too late to find out...**

**I've read some of your reviews and, God, i'm so happy that you liked the story. I love love love you. This is my first ever story and in less than a month i already have 25+ reviews, hahaha! thank you, thank you, thank you, and thank you. i. love. you!**

**And I'm so sorry that the epilogue is soooo short. But however, tell me what you think! C'mon, review! :D****  
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